hwango: (hermit crab)
[personal profile] hwango

It is my very great honor to welcome you to this collection of short stories by Wilfred Fenkham. Though Fenkham's life and his work have often been surrounded by controversy, there is no denying his ability as a storyteller, and the tales in this volume are among his most compelling. You will laugh, you will cry, and ultimately you will be entranced by his words. If you're like me, with every page you read you will feel yourself slipping further and further under his spell until you find that you would do the most ludicrous things in the hope that they might bring you closer to him. Like, for example, breaking into the headquarters of his publisher and substituting your own introduction to his upcoming book in place of the one that they had planned to use.

It means a great deal to me to be able to express the depth of my feelings for Mr. Fenkham here, where his other fans will see my words and know that no matter how much they may claim to love Mr. Fenkham and his work, their devotion is nothing next to mine. Mr. Fenkham himself, of course, already knows how much he means to me. I met him in person once many years ago, and it was the most amazing day of my life. I know I won't be able to see him in person again, due to the restraining order, but it was worth it to be able to sleep every night with a lock of his hair on the pillow next me.

If this is your first time reading Mr. Fenkham's work, you are in for a real treat. I sometimes wish that I could forget his stories just so I could have the pleasure of reading them again for the first time. However, that procedure is still experimental, and can cause delusions and obsessive behavior, so I've only done it twice. I think. The tattoo on my arm is frustratingly vague.

Anyway, I hope this truly is your first time reading one of Mr. Fenkham’s tales, because it would mean that he has reached a new reader, which is always wonderful. If I could, I would make Mr. Fenkham's work required reading in schools so that all children could grow up with his stories as I did. In fact, I would make his stories required reading for adults as well. If I had the power do to so, I would make sure that everyone on the planet owned copies of his books and could prove that they had read them. The faithless would be culled. As Fenkham's glory spread, publication of other, lesser books would cease so that more copies of his could be printed in their place. All resources would be channeled towards the spread and preservation of Fenkham's legacy. Whole cities would be razed to clear space for sprawling monoliths inscribed with his words. Satellites would carry his work into space as proof against its loss in the event of global cataclysm. One day, when an alien intelligence at last reaches the lifeless husk of the earth, they would find the whole planet a memorial dedicated to the life and work of Wilfred Fenkham, and realize that while they might have achieved interstellar travel it is we, the human race, who truly achieved greatness. Take that, future aliens!

But I digress.

I hope you enjoy Mr. Fenkham's work nearly as much as I do. Because you can't enjoy it more than I do. No one can.

Enjoy!
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Date: 2016-11-10 01:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] baxaphobia.livejournal.com
Now I'm really curious! Sounds fun!

Date: 2016-11-11 01:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hwango.livejournal.com
Well, I hope to provide entertaining weirdness for as long as I'm in the competition. Thanks for reading and commenting!

Date: 2016-11-10 01:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eternal-ot.livejournal.com
Interesting start ! Eagerly waiting to know more.

Date: 2016-11-11 01:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hwango.livejournal.com
I admit, I considered an actual introduction, but I thought this would give people a better idea of the sort of weirdness I hope to submit each week. Thanks for the read and comment.

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] marlawentmad.livejournal.com - Date: 2016-11-12 03:40 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2016-11-10 04:49 pm (UTC)
jake67jake: (F turns 3)
From: [personal profile] jake67jake
Interesting approach! Looking forward to more.

Date: 2016-11-11 01:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hwango.livejournal.com
I hope to maintain a consistent level of baffling weirdness throughout my time in the competition. Thanks for reading and commenting!

Date: 2016-11-11 05:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] millysdaughter.livejournal.com
This will be a fun ride!

Date: 2016-11-13 08:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hwango.livejournal.com
I hope so! Thanks for reading!

Date: 2016-11-11 07:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] crisp-sobriety.livejournal.com
This post was a journey.

I liked it a lot! Looking very much forward to seeing where this goes.

Date: 2016-11-13 08:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hwango.livejournal.com
Thanks! I hope it ends up going to a place that's equally enjoyable.

Date: 2016-11-11 08:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tamaraland.livejournal.com
Great intro!

Date: 2016-11-13 08:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hwango.livejournal.com
Thanks!

Date: 2016-11-11 01:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] penpusher.livejournal.com
Welcome to LJ Idol, and, if nothing else, you've piqued my interest in catching up on my Wilfred Fenkham!

Date: 2016-11-13 08:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hwango.livejournal.com
Thanks! Honestly, I think maybe Fenkham's work is a little overrated, but don't tell anyone I said so. = )

Date: 2016-11-11 02:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rayaso.livejournal.com
I loved this -- especially the restraining order and the experimental procedure! Welcome!

Date: 2016-11-13 08:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hwango.livejournal.com
Thank you! I think the experimental procedure is my favorite bit. = )

Date: 2016-11-11 04:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] puppetmaker40.livejournal.com
Different take but interesting. Looking forward to your next entry in this.

Date: 2016-11-13 08:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hwango.livejournal.com
I do strive for different. = ) As for next time, I guess we'll see where the prompt takes us.

Date: 2016-11-11 05:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bewize.livejournal.com
Haha! Loved it.

Date: 2016-11-13 08:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hwango.livejournal.com
Thanks, glad to hear it amused!

Date: 2016-11-11 07:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] my-name-is-jenn.livejournal.com
Very interesting. Looking forward to reading more. :)

Date: 2016-11-13 08:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hwango.livejournal.com
Thanks! With luck, next time on LJIdol: even more crazy.

Date: 2016-11-11 09:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mamas-minion.livejournal.com
A little weirdness is always refreshing. Looking forward to more of your writing.

Date: 2016-11-13 08:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hwango.livejournal.com
I hope to bring that refreshing bit of weirdness for as long as possible. Thanks for reading!

Date: 2016-11-11 09:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] unmowngrass.livejournal.com
This was great, and I really want to know more about this guy, and Mr. Fenkham!!

Date: 2016-11-13 08:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hwango.livejournal.com
Thanks! Fenkham's life is shrouded in mystery and controversy. But I have my top agents working on it.

Date: 2016-11-11 09:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] adoptedwriter.livejournal.com
I'm looking forward to reading the works of Mr. Fen khan!

Date: 2016-11-13 08:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hwango.livejournal.com
And probably for the first time! = )

Date: 2016-11-12 02:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dmousey.livejournal.com
Why, I do believe I shall like this Mr. Fenkham! Your gushing about his work has me most intrigued. Am sorry that you must forego the pleasure of rereading his tales, but ah, I must admit I am near to bursting from curiosity about his tomes. Do you think you could have one of his delightful stories for us soon? Yes? Oh, Thank you sir, thank you. I shall take my leave now and await your word his wondrous works have arrived! Peace~~~D

Date: 2016-11-13 08:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hwango.livejournal.com
Thanks! I hope not to disappoint. Or, failing that, to at least disappoint with style.

Date: 2016-11-12 04:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xlovebecomesher.livejournal.com
Welcome and good luck!

Date: 2016-11-13 08:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hwango.livejournal.com
Thank you!

Date: 2016-11-12 04:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tonithegreat.livejournal.com
This is really delightful! Very pleased to be introduced to you.

Date: 2016-11-13 08:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hwango.livejournal.com
Thanks! It's nice to be participating in a writing activity again. So far everyone's been very welcoming.

Date: 2016-11-12 08:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dee-aar2.livejournal.com
Curiosity piqued. Looking forward to getting to know Mr Fenkham ...

" I hope you enjoy Mr. Fenkham's work nearly as much as I do. Because you can't enjoy it more than I do. No one can. " There is so much of truth in here ... no two people can enjoy the same thing with same intensity ... that being the case in a relationship too .. don't you think ... ??? One person always loves more than the other ...

Welcome and Good Luck :)

Date: 2016-11-13 08:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hwango.livejournal.com
...and they can argue about who loves the other one more? Or does the one who loves more let the other one win that argument? = )

Thanks for reading!

Date: 2016-11-12 09:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] swirlsofblue.livejournal.com
Love that you did a book intro and not just that but a stolen book intro. This is hilarious and wonderful.

Welcome to Idol.

Date: 2016-11-13 08:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hwango.livejournal.com
Thanks! I'm glad you like that the intro is stolen - my first thoughts were the absurdly hyperbolic praise, but then I thought that if the whole thing wasn't actually approved by the publisher I could really go crazy. = )

Date: 2016-11-12 09:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] devilz-workshop.livejournal.com
You have tempted me enough to come back and read Wilfred Fenkham in all his glory. All the best.

Date: 2016-11-13 08:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hwango.livejournal.com
Well, we shall see what the next prompt is, and what form Fenkham's glory takes. = ) Thanks, and glad I could tempt you.

Date: 2016-11-12 01:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bleodswean.livejournal.com
Heh. Great introduction! Welcome to Idol and I look forward to reading more in this vein!

Date: 2016-11-13 08:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hwango.livejournal.com
Thanks! I'm anxious for the next prompt so we can all find out where things go from here.

Date: 2016-11-12 06:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sorchawench.livejournal.com
Welcome to Idol!

Date: 2016-11-13 08:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hwango.livejournal.com
Thank you! Everyone has been very welcoming so far. Nice to be writing for a group again.

Date: 2016-11-12 08:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] muchtooarrogant.livejournal.com
You didn't have me until, "However, that procedure is still experimental, and can cause delusions and obsessive behavior, so
I've only done it twice. I think." LOL OK, I gotta embrace that level of amusing weirdness. Good luck in season 10.

Dan

Date: 2016-11-13 08:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hwango.livejournal.com
Heh, well I think that's my favorite part, so I'm glad that's where I snared you. I hope I can continue to amuse. = )

Date: 2016-11-13 12:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theun4givables.livejournal.com
The progression of this is A++. I love it. :) Welcome to Idol!

Date: 2016-11-14 07:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hwango.livejournal.com
Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Date: 2016-11-13 03:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kehlen-crow.livejournal.com
I love how this started as a perfectly normal book introduction and disintegrated into the ramblings of a scary obsessed fanatic.

Date: 2016-11-14 08:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hwango.livejournal.com
Thanks! I'm glad people have been amused by my approach this first week.
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