hwango: (hermit crab)
[personal profile] hwango

It is my very great honor to welcome you to this collection of short stories by Wilfred Fenkham. Though Fenkham's life and his work have often been surrounded by controversy, there is no denying his ability as a storyteller, and the tales in this volume are among his most compelling. You will laugh, you will cry, and ultimately you will be entranced by his words. If you're like me, with every page you read you will feel yourself slipping further and further under his spell until you find that you would do the most ludicrous things in the hope that they might bring you closer to him. Like, for example, breaking into the headquarters of his publisher and substituting your own introduction to his upcoming book in place of the one that they had planned to use.

It means a great deal to me to be able to express the depth of my feelings for Mr. Fenkham here, where his other fans will see my words and know that no matter how much they may claim to love Mr. Fenkham and his work, their devotion is nothing next to mine. Mr. Fenkham himself, of course, already knows how much he means to me. I met him in person once many years ago, and it was the most amazing day of my life. I know I won't be able to see him in person again, due to the restraining order, but it was worth it to be able to sleep every night with a lock of his hair on the pillow next me.

If this is your first time reading Mr. Fenkham's work, you are in for a real treat. I sometimes wish that I could forget his stories just so I could have the pleasure of reading them again for the first time. However, that procedure is still experimental, and can cause delusions and obsessive behavior, so I've only done it twice. I think. The tattoo on my arm is frustratingly vague.

Anyway, I hope this truly is your first time reading one of Mr. Fenkham’s tales, because it would mean that he has reached a new reader, which is always wonderful. If I could, I would make Mr. Fenkham's work required reading in schools so that all children could grow up with his stories as I did. In fact, I would make his stories required reading for adults as well. If I had the power do to so, I would make sure that everyone on the planet owned copies of his books and could prove that they had read them. The faithless would be culled. As Fenkham's glory spread, publication of other, lesser books would cease so that more copies of his could be printed in their place. All resources would be channeled towards the spread and preservation of Fenkham's legacy. Whole cities would be razed to clear space for sprawling monoliths inscribed with his words. Satellites would carry his work into space as proof against its loss in the event of global cataclysm. One day, when an alien intelligence at last reaches the lifeless husk of the earth, they would find the whole planet a memorial dedicated to the life and work of Wilfred Fenkham, and realize that while they might have achieved interstellar travel it is we, the human race, who truly achieved greatness. Take that, future aliens!

But I digress.

I hope you enjoy Mr. Fenkham's work nearly as much as I do. Because you can't enjoy it more than I do. No one can.

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