Thanks for the edits! I understand about the demands of real life pressing on your time, so no problem about the delay. I appreciate all of your comments. To address some specific points -
4. I think I run into grammatical problems if I take out the "each of them," since otherwise I jump immediately from plural crew being interviewed to asking singular "he" for an answer. Maybe I could find another way to rearrange that sentence so it's not as long and clunky, though.
5. That does seem to be a popular line. It took several tries to get that sentence they way I wanted it, but I'm glad I perservered. = )
8. You're right, I should really try to vary that a bit more. I try to put in different ones as they occur to me, but my stories would probably benefit from a second pass after I'm done replacing a few more "saids."
Glad you found it to be an enjoyable read, and thanks very much for your kind words.
Re: Editor
4. I think I run into grammatical problems if I take out the "each of them," since otherwise I jump immediately from plural crew being interviewed to asking singular "he" for an answer. Maybe I could find another way to rearrange that sentence so it's not as long and clunky, though.
5. That does seem to be a popular line. It took several tries to get that sentence they way I wanted it, but I'm glad I perservered. = )
8. You're right, I should really try to vary that a bit more. I try to put in different ones as they occur to me, but my stories would probably benefit from a second pass after I'm done replacing a few more "saids."
Glad you found it to be an enjoyable read, and thanks very much for your kind words.