fiction - brigits_flame - chicken

[hwango]

It was a hoax. Obviously.

It was, however, an extremely well-executed hoax. The opening of the tomb had been a relatively minor media event, but had nevertheless been broadcast live. So there was abundant proof that the tablet had been inside the tomb when the entrance was unsealed. That proved nothing, of course - clearly someone must have found a way inside previously and planted the thing.

To prove that the tablet was a fake scientists had performed the usual tests to determine the tablet's age, and had been frustrated that all of them indicated an age of many tens of thousands of years. The scientists then attempted some rather more unusual tests, which stubbornly agreed with the first tests.

Well, that just meant that someone had come up with a a way to fool every known test. Clearly.

The text on the tablet read, in plain english, the following:

"The Chicken, by Abigail Wyeung-Tr'k Version 2.28.1, Grade 3.

The Chicken (gallus gallus domesticus) is a domesticated bird found all over the world, except the upside down parts. Chickens are raised for their meat, eggs, and as a source of the color yellow. The chicken was first invented in 17_5 AD (4193 CE) by Thomas Edison, and then again in 17_5 AD (4102 CE) by Tiberius Klieg. The chicken was invented as a source of eggs to create omelets, which had been invented the year before, the second time, and still had no way to exist. This is a great example of the reversal of cause and effect effected by famous time traveler Wil Andro359’s time machine exploding on every other Tuesday of September, 1433 AD (3 CE). I think chickens are funny looking, but I think feathers are neat. I hope when I grow up I can have feathers, even though I don’t want to be a chicken, even though Tiberius Klieg was a pretty awesome guy who invented a lot of other cool stuff, including gravity, South, and Thomas Edison."

Etched below this, in a different hand:

"B+ Good Work! I’m proud of you for tackling a subject from 17_5, which can be hard! Keep up the great work!"

So, clearly a hoax.

Everyone knows that chickens won’t be invented until 2052.