hwango | Come Talk to People Who Hate You!

I got woken up this morning by someone checking to make sure my contact info is up to date, because our 10 year high school reunion is coming up. I wish I'd been more awake for this call. You see, I didn't react with quite the level of enthusiasm the caller was looking for, and just sort of remained neutral and reticent. If I'd been more awake, I could have asked him why he thought I would want to go, since I was one of the unpopular, teased students in my year. Maybe if I owned a mulitnational corporation or ruled a small island nation I'd consider going just to be able to lord it over people, but I don't think I'd be petty enough to do that even if I were wildly successful. As it is, I'm unemployed. Who wants to go talk to people at a gathering who will all be asking "What do you do for a living these days?" when their answer is going to be "I spend most of my time weeping uncontrollably at the overwhelming despair that is my life. How about you?" Actually, that might be kind of fun. And no, my life isn't actually one of overwhelming despair, and I don't spend it uncontrollably weeping. Still, I think I'm going to pass. Maybe if I actually create art in exchange for money in the intervening months I'd reconsider, but I doubt it.

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I found myself in a similar situation, as well. High school was like four years of purgatory for me. I remember a bit too vividly the constant feeling of being the proverbial square peg, and of being constantly and painfully reminded of that fact by others.

I remember wishing some days that I could conjure a way to become invisible, so I could just do my own thing and not be constantly pestered by people who couldn't comprehend the idea of 'reading for fun' or 'learning something because it's interesting, not because a teacher requires you to'. (Amusingly enough, there's a whole Buffy episode centered around that concept.)

It also didn't help that I was a tremendously awkward teen. I've only gotten slightly less awkward over the years.

I was only friendly with one other person in my class year - most of my closer friends graduated one year behind me, so I wouldn't see any of the folks I'd truly want to talk to, anyways.

I'm also a bit self-conscious about my own lack of success. Instead of doing creative work, I'm a cog in a corporate machine. Not to mention, I'd be also the person that they'd be whispering things like, "Wow, she gained a lot of weight since then, didn't she?" I doubt my fragile self-esteem could deal with that.

Most of my friends from high school were a year ahead. I still see my closest friend from my year pretty often. I've only got a couple of other friends from my year, and there's no guarantee that they'd show up. I wouldn't have many people to talk to, either.

I suppose I could put on my Pagan Publishing t-shirt (the one with the giant pentagram and the slogan "Plotting the Downfall of Humanity Since 1990"), go the reunion, and tell everyone that I'd started my own cult. That might be fun.

Hmm. Somehow, I think it might be fun to get a group of people together to follow you around the reunion as members of your new cult. You'd have to come up with something good to worship, though -- toothpaste, perhaps, or maybe anchovies. And perhaps also a chant.

It'd also be good to have some pamphlets to pass out.

Wacky... I went to the Java Hut last night to get out of the house for a while. I picked up a copy of the Coffee News there. Your horoscope for the week said something like "You will get a phone call early in the morning this week that will be promising or positive or something like that(?) I can't remember the exact phrasing... Since the phone call really wasn't a good thing, I'm sure it's a coincedence, but odd nonetheless.

If for some reason you decide to go, I can go with you and threaten to beat up people for you if you want, or at least try to look intimidating ;)

When I was in high school, I didn't go to my senior prom, and set up an anti-prom of sorts. We should do something similar for reunions or set up a website like classmates.com but for people who were geeks and outcasts to find each other without the obnoxious people in their class finding out what they're up to.

Thanks. It's nice to know that I can always count on you to beat people up for me. Or at least threaten to beat people up. = )

That's what significant others are for, right? Though I can't imagine you "actually" wanting me to beat anyone up since you're more humane than I am. ;)

Thankfully I can't say that I care at all about nearly 100% of the people I was in school with. Somehow I was able to remain obfuscated through most of high school.

Except for being fat there was nothing remarkable enough about me to be worth picking on. Since I was also a fringe member of the art room clique there were plenty of better options available for harassment.

Still I don't think I would bother attending a reunion but mainly because of apathy.

Come Talk to People Who Hate You!

An Evening in Purgatory.

Re: An Evening in Purgatory.

Starting a Cult.

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You're welcome...

High School.