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Entry tags:
fiction - brigits_flame - unity
This is my entry for the writing activity on the brigits_flame community. The prompt for this week was "unity."
At first, James thought it must be some sort of surprise party. What else would make his sister Emily and his friends meet at his house and wait there for him? They didn't normally all socialize with one another, after all. They weren't hiding in the dark, though, and they didn't jump up and yell "surprise!" Instead, Emily solemnly stood up and said "James, we need to talk."
"What is this, an intervention?" James said, smiling. No one laughed. "Wait…it is an intervention?"
"Yes," Emily said uncomfortably.
James was stunned. An intervention? What for? He didn't drink, smoke, do drugs, have indiscriminate sex with strangers, support a political party, play MMORPGs, or even drink coffee. What could they possibly want to intervene against? Did he go to the library too often?
"James…it's that…group you hang around with," his friend Scott said. "We don't think it's a good idea."
There was no mistaking who Scott meant. Aside from the people in the room with him at that moment, there was only one group of people with whom he spent any time.
"It's just a club!" James said, crossing his arms in defiance. "We hang out and have fun. I like feeling like I'm part of something bigger than myself."
"James, it's a cult."
"No it isn't!"
"It so is."
"No it isn't!"
"James, what did you do at your last meeting?" Emily asked.
"We talked about history," James said.
"Specifically?" Emily pressed.
"We talked about how the Great Old Ones once bestrode the earth in all their mighty glory, and how they were cast out beyond the walls of space and time where they wait in death-like sleep until the time when the fabric of reality is torn asunder and they return screaming across the stars to reclaim their ultimate dominion over the universe. Then we took a break for snacks. Alice baked these amazing peanut-butter cookies with-"
"James, just listen to yourself! Jason said.
"I can't! You keep interrupting me!" James shouted back.
"Everyone just calm down!," Emily said.
"I don't want to calm down!" James said. "These are good people you're bad-mouthing! You think they're bad people just because they eagerly await the return of beings of fathomless power beyond the realm of human understanding!"
"But James, what would happen to humanity if the Great Old Ones returned?! What would happen to your friends and your family?!"
"We each get a kitten."
"We…we what?" Emily asked.
"Everyone gets a kitten. Or puppy, I think, though there's some disagreement over the interpretation of that particular passage in the Necronomicon."
"You're seriously telling me that the return of Great Cthulhu would herald a new age of kitten ownership?" Scott said incredulously.
"Actually, it's Tsathoggua that's going to hand out kittens and puppies," said James.
Silence reigned in the apartment for quite some time.
"What kind of cookies did you say Alice made?" Chris asked.
"Chris!" Emily said, shocked.
"Sorry," Chris said.
* * *
The argument raged for hours. In the end, James agreed to stop going to the meetings if it was really going to upset his family and friends that much. Everyone in the cult was sorry to see him go, but they understood the choice he was making. Alice even made James a special batch of cookies to bring to his sister and his friends to show that there were no hard feelings.
Two years later, the doors of time and space collapsed.
James and Emily stood on the roof of Emily's apartment building and watched the far edge of the city being torn apart by a swirling vortex of chaos. The thunderous crashes of Cthulhu's footsteps echoed through the streets, nearly drowning out the buzzing of the byakhees that swarmed in the skies above them and screams of the people in the streets below.
"Somehow, 'I told you so' just seems so inadequate for this moment."
"I agree."
"Your kitten is adorable, by the way."
"Yours too."
At first, James thought it must be some sort of surprise party. What else would make his sister Emily and his friends meet at his house and wait there for him? They didn't normally all socialize with one another, after all. They weren't hiding in the dark, though, and they didn't jump up and yell "surprise!" Instead, Emily solemnly stood up and said "James, we need to talk."
"What is this, an intervention?" James said, smiling. No one laughed. "Wait…it is an intervention?"
"Yes," Emily said uncomfortably.
James was stunned. An intervention? What for? He didn't drink, smoke, do drugs, have indiscriminate sex with strangers, support a political party, play MMORPGs, or even drink coffee. What could they possibly want to intervene against? Did he go to the library too often?
"James…it's that…group you hang around with," his friend Scott said. "We don't think it's a good idea."
There was no mistaking who Scott meant. Aside from the people in the room with him at that moment, there was only one group of people with whom he spent any time.
"It's just a club!" James said, crossing his arms in defiance. "We hang out and have fun. I like feeling like I'm part of something bigger than myself."
"James, it's a cult."
"No it isn't!"
"It so is."
"No it isn't!"
"James, what did you do at your last meeting?" Emily asked.
"We talked about history," James said.
"Specifically?" Emily pressed.
"We talked about how the Great Old Ones once bestrode the earth in all their mighty glory, and how they were cast out beyond the walls of space and time where they wait in death-like sleep until the time when the fabric of reality is torn asunder and they return screaming across the stars to reclaim their ultimate dominion over the universe. Then we took a break for snacks. Alice baked these amazing peanut-butter cookies with-"
"James, just listen to yourself! Jason said.
"I can't! You keep interrupting me!" James shouted back.
"Everyone just calm down!," Emily said.
"I don't want to calm down!" James said. "These are good people you're bad-mouthing! You think they're bad people just because they eagerly await the return of beings of fathomless power beyond the realm of human understanding!"
"But James, what would happen to humanity if the Great Old Ones returned?! What would happen to your friends and your family?!"
"We each get a kitten."
"We…we what?" Emily asked.
"Everyone gets a kitten. Or puppy, I think, though there's some disagreement over the interpretation of that particular passage in the Necronomicon."
"You're seriously telling me that the return of Great Cthulhu would herald a new age of kitten ownership?" Scott said incredulously.
"Actually, it's Tsathoggua that's going to hand out kittens and puppies," said James.
Silence reigned in the apartment for quite some time.
"What kind of cookies did you say Alice made?" Chris asked.
"Chris!" Emily said, shocked.
"Sorry," Chris said.
The argument raged for hours. In the end, James agreed to stop going to the meetings if it was really going to upset his family and friends that much. Everyone in the cult was sorry to see him go, but they understood the choice he was making. Alice even made James a special batch of cookies to bring to his sister and his friends to show that there were no hard feelings.
Two years later, the doors of time and space collapsed.
James and Emily stood on the roof of Emily's apartment building and watched the far edge of the city being torn apart by a swirling vortex of chaos. The thunderous crashes of Cthulhu's footsteps echoed through the streets, nearly drowning out the buzzing of the byakhees that swarmed in the skies above them and screams of the people in the streets below.
"Somehow, 'I told you so' just seems so inadequate for this moment."
"I agree."
"Your kitten is adorable, by the way."
"Yours too."
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(that is all.)
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-D
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An intervention for drinking too much coffee, or spending too much time at the library! haha
Can I get a cookie, and/or a kitty?
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Glad you enjoyed it!
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This story takes place in that sort of world. We have a cult that worships the Great Old Ones, but for comedic effect I've made them otherwise rather nice and rational people whose meetings have breaks for homemade cookies and are pleasant social affairs. We also have the ridiculous idea that everyone will get a kitten (or puppy) when the ancient gods return.
James has joined this cult. Whether his family believes in the existence or return of the Great Old Ones or not, they've decided that being in the cult isn't really a good thing for James, and they persuade him to leave it. At the end of the story, we witness the unlikely and unexpected actual return of the Great Old Ones. This cataclysmic event has the silver lining that, yes, everyone does in fact get a kitten after all.
I hope that helps. = )
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Check it out. (http://www.neilgaiman.com/p/Cool_Stuff/Short_Stories/I_Cthulhu)
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-D
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Taken as a whole it was just sort of blah. It was very predictable at times, which was really a shame - I thought for certain that he'd throw more twists into the story. I did like all of the stuff about the lime, though.
But the thing just makes me angrier every time I think about it? Spider and Rosie. I'm sorry, but when he uses his supernatural charm to make her think that he's Charlie so he can have sex with her...it's like drugging someone to make them accept advances that they would otherwise reject, and that makes it rape. She's certainly upset at first, but then she gets over it because she decides that she loves Spider? That's just creepy and wrong.
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Adorable. :P
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Oh, and actually it's whatever's in stock according to the Necronomicon. If they're out of kittens, they start handing out puppies. ;)
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