fiction - brigits_flame - Kill the Engine

[hwango]

We are jealous of the past, whose monsters were mortal. Dragons, at least, were flesh and blood.

Our menace was born in a forge and a factory. But wait - perhaps our villain is no less a dragon? The furnace heart? The belching of smoke? Find us, then, a shining knight to slay it.

What alien forces are at play, that bid it crawl from its rails? Were the iron bones wrought from ore that sat too close to Hell? It has the rage and hunger of demon, to be sure.

The cacophonous shriek of its metal coils. The engine hunts.

Comments

[maniccartoonist.livejournal.com]

Ooh, I like this. I'm normally not a big fan of poetry, since the symbolisms usually drift right over my head, but this poem is clear enough that I can follow it easily without it losing any artistic freedom. Very well done, and good luck in week 2. :D

[hwango.livejournal.com]

You know, when I was writing this, I wasn't thinking "I'm writing poetry!" But looking at it now...huh, I guess maybe it sort of it? Kind of? That's very strange. Well, glad you liked it, whatever it is. = )

[balloonhat.livejournal.com]

I am imagining this (perhaps by your intent) as a giant train. Love it.

[hwango.livejournal.com]

Indeed, evil monster train is what we have here. = )

[keppiehed.livejournal.com]

Oooh, this was great. I love your stuff. It was a train? *hides* I was thinking of ... something ... else ... I'm not sharing what I thought!

[hwango.livejournal.com]

Oh no! Sorry I wasn't clearer, there. I admit to being very curious what you thought it was, but I'll find some way to live with the torment of not knowing. = )

[belluminabyssus.livejournal.com]

I loved the concept of this; I don't think it stands on its own because it's so short and doesn't really have a beginning, an end, or even a real center, but it's so brilliantly written that I enjoyed it a lot. I can see it as a prologue to some ridiculous story/novel about some steampunk/fantasy/sci-fi universe, and it reminds me a lot of my favourite author's work.

And for the record, I loved the last line. It's so perfectly chilling. Bravo!

[hwango.livejournal.com]

Before I could stretch this out into a full story (which would be fun), I need to figure out how to slay a monster train. Dynamite? Seems too obvious. = ) Drabble-length is fun, but yeah, it doesn't really give you a lot of room. Glad you enjoyed it in spite of the bits it is missing!

[belluminabyssus.livejournal.com]

....That is very true. BUT STILL. It's such a cool idea! You should do something with it -- I'd definitely read.