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Entry tags:
fiction - brigits_flame - glare
Madeline flailed blindly for her shrieking alarm clock, managing to silence it only after first knocking several other items to the floor. Among the fallen were her spectacles, and she spent a few irritating moments locating them among the debris piled up next to the bed. Putting them on brought the world slightly more into focus; her vision was still clouded by sleep, and the glasses themselves were smudged and spotted and desperately in need of both cleaning and stronger lenses.
It was in that moment of sleepy annoyance that Madeline decided she was fed up with glasses, and it was time to do something about them. Time to take action. Time for...well, breakfast actually, and then maybe action.
She brought the subject up with her coworkers at lunch. It turned out Gerald had gotten laser eye surgery a few years ago, before he'd started working with them. He seemed delighted with the results.
"I'm sad to say that you don't actually get laser eyes, though," he said. Everyone endured this tired old joke with varying amounts of grace. "Well, I wasn't the only one disappointed to learn that. There was a kid in the waiting room who was telling everyone that his dad was getting the procedure but he couldn't figure out why he was bothering if he wasn't going to come out of it with heat vision like Superman."
Madeline imagined things from the kid's perspective. He didn't know what the world looked like to his dad when he wasn't wearing his glasses. And Madeline remembered when she was young how weird people who wore eyeglasses looked when they took them off - you were so used to what they looked like when they were wearing them that it was as if part of their face was missing without them. It must seem strange for daddy to be giving up part of his face for no discernible gain.
Then Gerald went into some of the details of what the procedure involved, which probably weren't all that bad if you weren't currently eating lunch, but in those circumstances caused a certain amount of squick. Madeline found herself having second thoughts.
After work, Madeline went to pick up some groceries, and ran into The Devil in the frozen foods aisle.
"Oh, hello, Madeline," said The Devil.
"Bill," she greeted him in return. She'd taken to calling him Bill as a shortened form of Beelzebub, because she knew it annoyed him.
"Still got that pesky soul of yours, eh?" said Bill. "Sure you wouldn't like to sell it?"
Bill asked after Madeline's soul every time they ran into each other, which averaged about once a month. Madeline always declined to sell.
"No, thank you," she replied. "Pass me a bag of those frozen peas, won't you?" The peas were on the top shelf, which Madeline could reach only with difficulty.
"I have a sense that there's something you want," he said, cocking his head to one side as he stared at her.
"Besides frozen peas, you mean?"
The Devil handed her the peas with a slightly pained look on his face. She knew it galled him to do anything for free, but of course he wanted to remain cordial if he was going to hold on to any hope of getting her soul. He'd been after it for...well, it must be years now.
A smile oozed onto his face. "Your eyes!" he said. "You're looking to upgrade, aren't you?"
"I'm considering surgery," Madeline admitted. The Devil scoffed at this.
"Surgery! Clumsy human hands tinkering around with some of your most delicate parts! Technological gizmos flashing lights and slicing you up! What an awful idea."
"I suppose you're suggesting an alternative?" Madeline said.
"Well, as it happens I could quite painlessly furnish you with a pair just like mine," he said, "which I assure you would be superior in every way to your feeble human eyes no matter how much you let some human quack muck about with them."
"I have always considered your eyes to be a lovely shade of yellow. Like a dandelion. Or a buttercup."
"I could probably match your current color if you prefer," The Devil said.
"And would they come with heat vision?" Madeline asked. The Devil looked momentarily perplexed.
"You mean, would they see into the infrared spectrum of light? Well, yes. Obviously. Wait, yours don't?"
"No, I meant would I be able to shoot laser beams from them, silly," Madeline said, laughing.
"Oh. Well, not as such. If you glare hard enough at people you could make them ill, though. Also you could wither plants or spoil milk if that were useful to you for some reason. I just ruined all of the 2% on my way over here to frozen foods, actually. Just because...you know. I'm The Devil."
"Yes, I hadn't forgotten. Oh, you do make them sound lovely, but I suspect the price for them is just a bit steeper than I'm willing to pay," Madeline said with a look of mock despair.
"Look, you're not even really using your soul. Just let me borrow it for a while and I promise you won't even notice that it's gone."
"No thank you. Now, if you'll excuse me, my frozen peas are prematurely thawing, and I really must be going."
The Devil gave her a new, perfectly cold bag from the freezer to replace them without even being asked to do so. Madeline thanked him and gave him a quick little kiss on the cheek just to drive him crazy.
"See you later," she said as she began to wheel her cart away.
"But not in infrared!" The Devil called after her, either to rub it in or as a last desperate sales pitch. Either way, she only shrugged in reply.
In the end, Madeline just bought some new glasses.
It was in that moment of sleepy annoyance that Madeline decided she was fed up with glasses, and it was time to do something about them. Time to take action. Time for...well, breakfast actually, and then maybe action.
She brought the subject up with her coworkers at lunch. It turned out Gerald had gotten laser eye surgery a few years ago, before he'd started working with them. He seemed delighted with the results.
"I'm sad to say that you don't actually get laser eyes, though," he said. Everyone endured this tired old joke with varying amounts of grace. "Well, I wasn't the only one disappointed to learn that. There was a kid in the waiting room who was telling everyone that his dad was getting the procedure but he couldn't figure out why he was bothering if he wasn't going to come out of it with heat vision like Superman."
Madeline imagined things from the kid's perspective. He didn't know what the world looked like to his dad when he wasn't wearing his glasses. And Madeline remembered when she was young how weird people who wore eyeglasses looked when they took them off - you were so used to what they looked like when they were wearing them that it was as if part of their face was missing without them. It must seem strange for daddy to be giving up part of his face for no discernible gain.
Then Gerald went into some of the details of what the procedure involved, which probably weren't all that bad if you weren't currently eating lunch, but in those circumstances caused a certain amount of squick. Madeline found herself having second thoughts.
After work, Madeline went to pick up some groceries, and ran into The Devil in the frozen foods aisle.
"Oh, hello, Madeline," said The Devil.
"Bill," she greeted him in return. She'd taken to calling him Bill as a shortened form of Beelzebub, because she knew it annoyed him.
"Still got that pesky soul of yours, eh?" said Bill. "Sure you wouldn't like to sell it?"
Bill asked after Madeline's soul every time they ran into each other, which averaged about once a month. Madeline always declined to sell.
"No, thank you," she replied. "Pass me a bag of those frozen peas, won't you?" The peas were on the top shelf, which Madeline could reach only with difficulty.
"I have a sense that there's something you want," he said, cocking his head to one side as he stared at her.
"Besides frozen peas, you mean?"
The Devil handed her the peas with a slightly pained look on his face. She knew it galled him to do anything for free, but of course he wanted to remain cordial if he was going to hold on to any hope of getting her soul. He'd been after it for...well, it must be years now.
A smile oozed onto his face. "Your eyes!" he said. "You're looking to upgrade, aren't you?"
"I'm considering surgery," Madeline admitted. The Devil scoffed at this.
"Surgery! Clumsy human hands tinkering around with some of your most delicate parts! Technological gizmos flashing lights and slicing you up! What an awful idea."
"I suppose you're suggesting an alternative?" Madeline said.
"Well, as it happens I could quite painlessly furnish you with a pair just like mine," he said, "which I assure you would be superior in every way to your feeble human eyes no matter how much you let some human quack muck about with them."
"I have always considered your eyes to be a lovely shade of yellow. Like a dandelion. Or a buttercup."
"I could probably match your current color if you prefer," The Devil said.
"And would they come with heat vision?" Madeline asked. The Devil looked momentarily perplexed.
"You mean, would they see into the infrared spectrum of light? Well, yes. Obviously. Wait, yours don't?"
"No, I meant would I be able to shoot laser beams from them, silly," Madeline said, laughing.
"Oh. Well, not as such. If you glare hard enough at people you could make them ill, though. Also you could wither plants or spoil milk if that were useful to you for some reason. I just ruined all of the 2% on my way over here to frozen foods, actually. Just because...you know. I'm The Devil."
"Yes, I hadn't forgotten. Oh, you do make them sound lovely, but I suspect the price for them is just a bit steeper than I'm willing to pay," Madeline said with a look of mock despair.
"Look, you're not even really using your soul. Just let me borrow it for a while and I promise you won't even notice that it's gone."
"No thank you. Now, if you'll excuse me, my frozen peas are prematurely thawing, and I really must be going."
The Devil gave her a new, perfectly cold bag from the freezer to replace them without even being asked to do so. Madeline thanked him and gave him a quick little kiss on the cheek just to drive him crazy.
"See you later," she said as she began to wheel her cart away.
"But not in infrared!" The Devil called after her, either to rub it in or as a last desperate sales pitch. Either way, she only shrugged in reply.
In the end, Madeline just bought some new glasses.
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She's got him sorted, and it must be SOOOOO pleasurable - teehee. But maybe right at the end, she might be wise to let him have her soul...much more fun in Hell than Heaven with all those harp lessons!
Bless you Hwango.. hugs.
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Nothing is ever ordinary with you Hwango. Don't ever change.