There's a lot good in this, not the least of which is the curmudgeon and the roaming band of ghoulish children. Honestly, there's part of me that's beginning to suspect that "children" is just what our narrator calls literally anything that he's talking to, whether that thing be living or not.

I definitely loved how punny this particular piece was, and I highly enjoyed "the battle was much too gory for children to hear about, so I'll just tell you a few gory things but not all of them."

Good work as usual! :)