LJIdol 3 Strikes - Week 6 - Pursuit

[hwango]

Oh, hello children. I have an awful lot to do today, so I'm not sure I have time to tell you a story right now. So much to do. Busy, busy, busy. Although, that actually reminds me of a story.

There once lived a particularly malicious faerie called Caramel Antithesis Mangletusk. Faeries are wicked and cruel almost without exception, but Caramel's zeal for dispensing wickedness and cruelty made other faeries feel tired just watching him. Caramel, on the other hand, put off feeling tired until he was done with his day of evil and depravity. One Tuesday night after a particularly exhausting day of poisoning wells, replacing children with enchanted puppets, and overturning tortoises, Caramel yawned theatrically, climbed into his bed, and dreamed.

Or at least that had been the plan. But once asleep, Caramel found that his dreams were missing. He spent several hours searching for them, but they didn't appear to be anywhere in his sleeping mind. All he found was one shabby little nightmare, and it squeaked and ran away when it saw him coming because it could tell when it was clearly outmatched.

Some time later, Caramel awoke to a beautiful sunrise and the musical chirping of birds. Outraged by this shocking disregard for his personal distress, he immediately stole the birds' voices and shoved some dark clouds in the sun's face. That done, he took stock of the situation. Had someone stolen his dreams? No, there was no one who would dare. But what else could have happened to them? Caramel checked around his bed for clues, and quickly discovered some tracks leading away from his bed and out the window. Caramel's dreams had run away.

This was unacceptable. Caramel couldn't have his dreams out wandering about where anyone might see them. Some of them were incriminating, or embarrassing, or would give his enemies forewarning of the terrible things that he planned to do to them. And so, deciding to follow in the footsteps of many idealistic youths, spiritually enlightened visionaries, and megalomaniacal supervillains, Caramel set out to follow his dreams. He didn't literally follow in the footsteps of those people, though, since he had these other footsteps to follow.

Like many people attempting to follow their dreams, Caramel encountered setbacks - in fact, an entire pack of setbacks. The alpha setback of the pack was a particularly intimidating specimen with massive brass antlers and several pairs of luminous crimson eyes. It drooled molten glass as it snarled a command for its packmates to attack. Caramel wasn't about to let a few setbacks stop him from chasing his dreams, though. He had tenacity! Resolve! And, most importantly, he had Hubris, which was the name he had given to the knife he had forged from the heart of a dead star.

The fight that ensued was extremely violent and not at all appropriate for children your age to hear about in detail, so I'll just tell you that Caramel eventually prevailed. After Caramel finished wiping off a great deal of blood, viscera, and rapidly cooling molten glass, he resumed his chase. Cutting his way out of a setback's stomach had cost him valuable time though, and he needed to hurry.

The trail he followed led him into Adversity, which is an ugly, disreputable little town with poorly maintained streets, a public garden filled with nothing but poison ivy, and only one decent tea house. I don't recommend visiting. Anyway, Caramel knew the then current mayor of Adversity quite well, and through the simple expediency of a large bribe was able to continue on with little delay. He did not even stop for tea, since he did not know which tea house was the good one.

And so Caramel's pursuit of his dreams continued, including an arduous, steep uphill walk through Hardship, and a most unfortunate and time-consuming detour through the maze-like streets of Distraction. He did at least manage to take a shortcut past Doubt due to his enormous ego. And of course, like anyone following their dreams, he had to fight a hydra.

At last, though, he caught up to his dreams just outside of Success, and was very grateful that they didn't make it into the city proper, since the place was filled with insufferably smug jerks. Also, he was getting tired of walking.

Alas, Caramel was uncertain what to do next. Many people will encourage you to follow your dreams, but significantly fewer of them will have any good advice about what to do when you catch them. Caramel's dreams looked a bit bedraggled from their lengthy adventure outside of his head, but he was still fairly certain he wanted them back. After all, not dreaming enough can lead to madness, hallucinations, or becoming a menial drone toiling away in aid of some else's success.

And so Caramel reclaimed his dreams through an arcane and complicated process that certainly didn't involve simply jamming them back into his head through one of his ears. That would be ridiculous.

The lesson to be learned here is that if you allow yourself to be distracted you can waste a lot of valuable time telling a story to children who will misinterpret your entirely factual historical anecdote as an extended metaphor and subsequently make poor life choices, end up fighting a hydra, and eventually turn into a bunch of artists, astronauts, and marine biologists instead of valuable menial drones. Also, there's an excellent chance that at least one of you is actually an enchanted puppet.

Now, all of you should get home. I have a lot of menial tasks left to do today.

Comments

[roina_arwen]

I always look forward to your innovative faerie tales! If I had one concrit, it would merely be that Caramel sounds like he should be a sweet person, lol!

[hwango]

That's what makes the middle name "Antithesis" so important. = )

[gunwithoutmusic]

There's a lot good in this, not the least of which is the curmudgeon and the roaming band of ghoulish children. Honestly, there's part of me that's beginning to suspect that "children" is just what our narrator calls literally anything that he's talking to, whether that thing be living or not.

I definitely loved how punny this particular piece was, and I highly enjoyed "the battle was much too gory for children to hear about, so I'll just tell you a few gory things but not all of them."

Good work as usual! :)

[hwango]

It would certainly put a different spin on these if it turns out there aren't really any children at all. *Gasp* - maybe they're ALL enchanted puppets!

[drippedonpaper]

I liked the narrator. This really reminded me of "A Series of Unfortunate Events." Which means you could make all this into a best selling series and get really famous :)

I never had considered if I was an enchanted puppet, but I will say, that would explain a lot... :)

[hwango]

I suspect I might have trouble marketing these to actual children, though. However, if you could just get your fellow enchanted puppets to buy my series of books... = )

[dsrmousey]

Young adults and tweens would absolutely read these! You'd just need to tweak them a little. You.do not give yourself enough credit. Peace~~~D

[hwango]

Okay, I'm really curious - tweak them in what way?

[dsrmousey]

Depending which age group your going for the metaphorical aspect they might not understand and soften the violence for tweens. Although now that I think about it my daughter was reading and devouring Harry Potter at 10-11 and when she hit twelve and thirteen Manga and Johnny the Homicidal Maniac. my son however We struggled with dyslexia.
I preferred the original Grimm's faerie tales when I was small so perhaps I know nothing and you should just carry on! 😜 Peace~~~D

[banana_galaxy]

LOL. No, absolutely no metaphor here whatsoever. XD

[hwango]

I don't even want to think about what the population of Adversity might do if they found out we implied they were nothing but a metaphor. They're very adversarial people.

[dsrmousey]

Love your faerie tales. What a wonderful imagination you have. Thanks for pulling me out of a funk too. Peace~~~D

[hwango]

I'm glad you enjoyed it, and even happier that it successfully pulled you out of your funk!

[erulissedances]

As usual, I bow to your skill. Brilliant.

- Erulisse (one L)

[hwango]

Thanks, glad it didn't disappoint!

[mollywheezy]

Brilliant as always! Loved it! :)

[hwango]

Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it!

[ofearthandstars]

I always look forward to your entries, they never disappoint. I am so glad that Caramel caught up to his dreams and did not become a menial drone toiling for another's success.

[hwango]

I don't Caramel would have made a very good menial drone. = )

[tinnean]

This... amazed me! I loved the shabby little nightmare squeaking and running away because it was outmatched. I loved the puns and the final realization the narrator had become a menial drone. Thank you!

[hwango]

Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it! Yes, that poor little nightmare. And poor narrator - alas, we can't all bribe and murder our way to becoming astronauts. = )

[troof_therry]

You had me at Caramel Antithesis Mangletusk. My favorite part of this story is how much disdain the narrator has for the story, its characters, and the audience. This was exceptionally fun to read.

[hwango]

Glad you liked Caramel's name and the amount of disdain, and that it was all fun. Thanks for reading and commenting!

[alycewilson]

Love this! I finally figured out what your writing reminds me of: Douglas Adams. I can say this because I've been reading "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" series to my son, and there's a very similar sort of use of word play, sarcasm and wit. And yet, of course, you're also extremely unique. I can't wait for you to put these all in a collection some day.

[hwango]

A favorable comparison indeed! I would definitely consider Adams and Pratchett as early influences. I listened to the original Hitchhiker's Guide radio show many times in my youth - I mean, I also read all of the books, but most of the stuff I can still quote is from the radio show. = )