fiction - brigits_flame - besieged
Oct. 24th, 2008 03:26 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hwangoThis is my entry for the writing activity on the ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
brigits_flame community. The prompt for this week was "besieged."
Not for the first time, Duncan wondered if he was living in a country full of madmen.
"Let me try to understand this," Duncan said to the soldier seated across from him. "The castle is impossible to capture, and you know this even though no one has ever actually attacked it?"
"No, no – you've misunderstood completely!" said the soldier, clearly frustrated. "It's impossible to capture because no one has ever attacked it."
"That makes no sense, even for you people!" Duncan said, and immediately regretted his unfortunate use of the phrase "you people." He was, after all, trying very hard to fit in with the locals. At least, he was trying to fit in with the locals who he wasn't being commanded to conquer in the name of some of the other locals.
Duncan still wasn't certain if his life's story up until this point was one of great tragedy or incredible good luck. Could it be both at the same time? The shipwreck had certainly been bad luck, but he had managed to survive for an extraordinary amount of time while clinging to floating wreckage, and against all odds he had been spotted by a passing ship and rescued. Sadly, the ocean's currents had carried him so far from familiar waters that he'd never even heard of the country that his rescuers called home, nor had they ever heard of his. Obviously he wouldn't' be going home anytime soon.
His new hosts had all been very friendly, though, and they were positively delighted to learn that he had military experience. Their country was currently engaged in simultaneous wars of conquest against all of their neighbors, and they were quite keen on the idea that he might be able to offer them some unexpected foreign strategies that would give them an edge…or edges, in their case.
At first, Duncan had protested that he had been quite low in the ranks and would have little to offer them. Then he found out how the locals made what they thought of as war, and realized that compared to them he was a master strategist and a tactical genius.
Before he knew it, he'd been enlisted into their army and quickly promoted to the command of one of the king's armies. Officially, he was Warmaster of the Bright and Glorious Multitudes of the Righteous Domination of the West. Duncan thought that the title would be the worst part, but then he had seen the hat that came with it. That was the first moment that he had actually been grateful that there was no one within thousands of miles who knew him, since he could not have survived the humiliation of any of them seeing him wearing the hat.
Right now, the hat felt particularly heavy, and Duncan wanted nothing more than to take it off for a few minutes. Alas, he was in the middle of planning the army's next move, and he couldn't very well dictate the military future of the Bright and Glorious Multitudes of the Righteous Domination of the West without his official hat.
The man trying to explain the seemingly invincible fortress to him was named Serapherial Etragulem, which sounded like a particularly nasty disease to Duncan, and wasn't a name that he would wish on anyone. Serapherial's rank had nearly as many words in it as Duncan's, but Duncan preferred to think of the man as his lieutenant. It was certainly preferable to thinking of him as Serapherial Etragulem.
"I apologize," Duncan said wearily, "but I still don't understand. We have catapults surrounding the castle, yes?
"Indeed," said Serapherial.
"And why haven't we fired any of them?" Duncan asked.
"We might damage the castle!" answered the soldier, clearly scandalized by the very idea of doing such a thing.
Duncan stared at him for a long moment. "And that is why no one else has ever attacked this castle? Because they don't want to damage it?"
"Yes!" said Serapherial, obviously relieved that Duncan finally understood, which of course he did not.
"Why do you even have catapults surrounding the place if you're not willing to use them?" Duncan asked.
"It wouldn't really be much of a siege if we didn't have any catapults," Serapherial said, as if this were something that even a child should know.
"Look, how far away is this place?" Duncan asked.
"Two days' march," the lieutenant replied.
"Alright. I want to oversee this operation personally," he said, trying to put as much authority into his voice as possible. These people seemed to respond well to authority, particularly when it came from beneath such an impressive hat. "Make everything ready for us to mobilize at dawn."
* * *
Two days later, Duncan finally got a look at the "unconquerable" castle. "It's…ah…it's very pretty," he said.
This was, he realized, an understatement of nearly criminal proportions. The castle was a wondrous triumph of architecture from an aesthetic point of view. Towering spires, graceful arches, and fancifully-carved parapets abounded. However, that was not the full extent of the castle's artistry. The walls themselves were covered with intricate carvings and enormous, colorful murals. The side Duncan was currently facing showed a dazzling sunset behind a grove of blooming cherry trees. Gold and copper had been worked into the design so that its sun shone in the light of the real one. Truly, the entire castle was not merely a work of art, but was in fact the masterpieces of several artists each working in a different medium to create something even greater than the sum of its parts.
Duncan was fairly certain that he could bring the whole thing down in about fifteen minutes using only a single catapult.
Duncan struggled to think of a way to voice this thought in less blunt terms. "It…it looks a bit…delicate," Duncan said.
"Absolutely!" said Serapherial. "That's why we can't attack!"
Duncan considered this answer, which seemed to run counter to all reason. "How long have you had this place under siege?" Duncan asked.
"Three years," said the lieutenant. Duncan wasn't sure if this should be cause for laughter or tears.
"And in that time," Duncan said, trying to contain his incredulity, "what, exactly, have your men done to take the castle by force or to make the people inside surrender?"
"We've been hoping to wait them out," said Serapherial.
"Really," said Duncan. "They've been in there for three years now. Obviously they have a source of food and water inside, of they'd have given up by now, right? So why do you think they'll come out eventually?"
Serapherial smiled at this, obviously thinking he was about to impress Duncan with something clever. Duncan steeled himself against what was almost certain to be something incredibly ridiculous. "As long as they're inside, they can't properly maintain the murals on the outside walls. Look!" Serapherial said, pointing near the top of the wall before them, "you can already see where some gold leaf needs to be replaced just below that parapet that looks like a rose bush! We've nearly got them, I'm sure!"
Duncan considered this. To his horror, he realized that, if the mentality of the people inside the castle was consistent with those outside the castle, it was a strategy that might eventually pay off. Duncan was, however, disinclined to wait another three years for the people inside to surrender for the sake of some patchwork on the gold leaf.
"Serapherial, I'd like you to run up the signal flags and let them know that I want to parlay with their leader, or his emissary, or whoever," Duncan
* * *
The meeting took place in a pavilion several hundred yards from the castle walls. The site had been carefully chosen so as to provide an excellent view of one of the more spectacular sides of the castle. The seating arrangements were laid out so that the enemy's emissary, a man called Thaselian Quilk, would be facing back towards the wall.
"Your grace," Duncan began, "I want to get right to the heart of the matter. The king has sent me to seize this castle and make it part of his kingdom, and I don't intend to disappoint him. I can certainly understand your desire to retain your independence, but I'm afraid you're up against a superior force against which you cannot possibly prevail. I implore you to see reason and surrender now before there are any casualties."
Thaselian smiled condescendingly at him. "Dear boy, no one has ever conquered us, and I don't expect that you will have any better luck. I'd start preparing a pretty speech for your king begging his forgiveness for your failure."
"I was afraid you'd say something like that," Duncan said. He turned to Serapherial. "Serapherial, I want you to be brutally honest. Would you say that I'm an ignorant, brutish foreigner with no real understanding of the ways of civilized people?"
Serapherial's face drained of color. "I…uh…," he stammered.
"No, really, it's okay – be honest," Duncan said.
"Well, I certainly wouldn’t put it in those terms," Serapherial hedged.
"Would you tell our guest here what I proposed we do to capture his castle?" Duncan asked.
"You…uh, you suggested we fire some of the catapults at it," Serapherial said, clearly embarrassed on Duncan's behalf. The ambassador's eyes grew very wide, and he seemed to stop breathing for a moment.
"Surely not!" Thaselian cried when he once again had command of his voice.
"Indeed I did," said Duncan. "In fact, tomorrow morning I am going to load up the catapults with some nice big, sharp rocks, and I'm going to obliterate that," Duncan said, and pointed over his shoulder at the heartbreakingly-beautiful mural the ambassador was facing. Both the emissary and his lieutenant looked shocked and outraged.
"Madness!" said Thaselian, "You couldn't!"
"Sir, no! You wouldn't dare!" Serapherial said.
"Serapherial! You are speaking to your commanding officer!" Duncan shouted, and pointed at his incredibly official hat. "If I order you to fire those catapults, and you refuse, that's treason! You will have betrayed your king! Would you betray your king? Over something pretty?!" Actual tears welled up in Serapherial's eyes. Duncan nearly apologized to the man, but caught himself just in time. Still, this was harder than he thought it would be. It was like kicking a puppy in front of a crowd of children.
"No…though it would break my heart, I would obey," said Serapherial, his voice catching in his throat.
Duncan turned back to the ambassador, who was looking at him as if he had not just kicked the puppy, but had bitten its head off and was now asking for a kitten for dessert.
"Sir," Duncan said calmly, "I'm sure that you're a reasonable man. I, on the other hand, am an unreasonable man who cares only about results. You have two choices. You can surrender peacefully and submit to the king's rule, or you can you can spend tomorrow sifting through rubble trying to find the other two thousand pieces of that wall." Duncan once again pointed over his shoulder. The ambassador's eyes flitted back and forth between the wall and Duncan. Serapherial turned away and sobbed. Duncan raised an inquiring eyebrow, and the ambassador actually jumped out of his chair and ran out of the tent, screaming.
"Hmm," said Duncan. "I wasn't expecting that. Maybe I overdid it."
Serapherial's eyes filled with hope. "You mean you were bluffing?" he said.
"No," Duncan sighed. "I'm sorry to say that I meant every word."
* * *
A few hours later, the castle offered a formal surrender. Even though it was the outcome that Duncan had expected, it was still a little hard to believe. He'd never bullied a castle into submission before. It was nice to have achieved an objective without bloodshed, but it was not without other costs. He feared that Serapherial would never look at him the same way again.
"Well, lieutenant," Duncan said, "what's our next target?"
Serapherial hesitated. "There's a small kingdom. It should take us about two weeks to get there since we have to take a take a somewhat roundabout route to go around the…uh…" he trailed off into uncomfortable silence.
"Yes?" Duncan prompted.
"There's a field of wildflowers. With butterflies," Serapherial said.
Duncan found that he was not surprised by this answer. "How much time could we save if we marched through it instead?" Duncan asked. Serapherial cringed.
"Eight days," he said in a small voice.
Duncan could see the man's eyes starting to glisten again. He sighed.
"Well, we saved a few years here. I suppose we can spare the extra eight days," Duncan said. Serapherial's look of relief was almost more painful to see than the tears.
It might be a country full of madmen, but sometimes he envied them for their relative innocence. They weren't perfect, of course. They were, after all, trying to conquer their neighbors. But they tried to do it in such a polite way, with as little actual violence as possible.
Duncan had managed to capture a work of art without breaking it, but could he win a whole war for these people without damaging their spirit? He would certainly try.
brigits_flame community. The prompt for this week was "besieged."Not for the first time, Duncan wondered if he was living in a country full of madmen.
"Let me try to understand this," Duncan said to the soldier seated across from him. "The castle is impossible to capture, and you know this even though no one has ever actually attacked it?"
"No, no – you've misunderstood completely!" said the soldier, clearly frustrated. "It's impossible to capture because no one has ever attacked it."
"That makes no sense, even for you people!" Duncan said, and immediately regretted his unfortunate use of the phrase "you people." He was, after all, trying very hard to fit in with the locals. At least, he was trying to fit in with the locals who he wasn't being commanded to conquer in the name of some of the other locals.
Duncan still wasn't certain if his life's story up until this point was one of great tragedy or incredible good luck. Could it be both at the same time? The shipwreck had certainly been bad luck, but he had managed to survive for an extraordinary amount of time while clinging to floating wreckage, and against all odds he had been spotted by a passing ship and rescued. Sadly, the ocean's currents had carried him so far from familiar waters that he'd never even heard of the country that his rescuers called home, nor had they ever heard of his. Obviously he wouldn't' be going home anytime soon.
His new hosts had all been very friendly, though, and they were positively delighted to learn that he had military experience. Their country was currently engaged in simultaneous wars of conquest against all of their neighbors, and they were quite keen on the idea that he might be able to offer them some unexpected foreign strategies that would give them an edge…or edges, in their case.
At first, Duncan had protested that he had been quite low in the ranks and would have little to offer them. Then he found out how the locals made what they thought of as war, and realized that compared to them he was a master strategist and a tactical genius.
Before he knew it, he'd been enlisted into their army and quickly promoted to the command of one of the king's armies. Officially, he was Warmaster of the Bright and Glorious Multitudes of the Righteous Domination of the West. Duncan thought that the title would be the worst part, but then he had seen the hat that came with it. That was the first moment that he had actually been grateful that there was no one within thousands of miles who knew him, since he could not have survived the humiliation of any of them seeing him wearing the hat.
Right now, the hat felt particularly heavy, and Duncan wanted nothing more than to take it off for a few minutes. Alas, he was in the middle of planning the army's next move, and he couldn't very well dictate the military future of the Bright and Glorious Multitudes of the Righteous Domination of the West without his official hat.
The man trying to explain the seemingly invincible fortress to him was named Serapherial Etragulem, which sounded like a particularly nasty disease to Duncan, and wasn't a name that he would wish on anyone. Serapherial's rank had nearly as many words in it as Duncan's, but Duncan preferred to think of the man as his lieutenant. It was certainly preferable to thinking of him as Serapherial Etragulem.
"I apologize," Duncan said wearily, "but I still don't understand. We have catapults surrounding the castle, yes?
"Indeed," said Serapherial.
"And why haven't we fired any of them?" Duncan asked.
"We might damage the castle!" answered the soldier, clearly scandalized by the very idea of doing such a thing.
Duncan stared at him for a long moment. "And that is why no one else has ever attacked this castle? Because they don't want to damage it?"
"Yes!" said Serapherial, obviously relieved that Duncan finally understood, which of course he did not.
"Why do you even have catapults surrounding the place if you're not willing to use them?" Duncan asked.
"It wouldn't really be much of a siege if we didn't have any catapults," Serapherial said, as if this were something that even a child should know.
"Look, how far away is this place?" Duncan asked.
"Two days' march," the lieutenant replied.
"Alright. I want to oversee this operation personally," he said, trying to put as much authority into his voice as possible. These people seemed to respond well to authority, particularly when it came from beneath such an impressive hat. "Make everything ready for us to mobilize at dawn."
Two days later, Duncan finally got a look at the "unconquerable" castle. "It's…ah…it's very pretty," he said.
This was, he realized, an understatement of nearly criminal proportions. The castle was a wondrous triumph of architecture from an aesthetic point of view. Towering spires, graceful arches, and fancifully-carved parapets abounded. However, that was not the full extent of the castle's artistry. The walls themselves were covered with intricate carvings and enormous, colorful murals. The side Duncan was currently facing showed a dazzling sunset behind a grove of blooming cherry trees. Gold and copper had been worked into the design so that its sun shone in the light of the real one. Truly, the entire castle was not merely a work of art, but was in fact the masterpieces of several artists each working in a different medium to create something even greater than the sum of its parts.
Duncan was fairly certain that he could bring the whole thing down in about fifteen minutes using only a single catapult.
Duncan struggled to think of a way to voice this thought in less blunt terms. "It…it looks a bit…delicate," Duncan said.
"Absolutely!" said Serapherial. "That's why we can't attack!"
Duncan considered this answer, which seemed to run counter to all reason. "How long have you had this place under siege?" Duncan asked.
"Three years," said the lieutenant. Duncan wasn't sure if this should be cause for laughter or tears.
"And in that time," Duncan said, trying to contain his incredulity, "what, exactly, have your men done to take the castle by force or to make the people inside surrender?"
"We've been hoping to wait them out," said Serapherial.
"Really," said Duncan. "They've been in there for three years now. Obviously they have a source of food and water inside, of they'd have given up by now, right? So why do you think they'll come out eventually?"
Serapherial smiled at this, obviously thinking he was about to impress Duncan with something clever. Duncan steeled himself against what was almost certain to be something incredibly ridiculous. "As long as they're inside, they can't properly maintain the murals on the outside walls. Look!" Serapherial said, pointing near the top of the wall before them, "you can already see where some gold leaf needs to be replaced just below that parapet that looks like a rose bush! We've nearly got them, I'm sure!"
Duncan considered this. To his horror, he realized that, if the mentality of the people inside the castle was consistent with those outside the castle, it was a strategy that might eventually pay off. Duncan was, however, disinclined to wait another three years for the people inside to surrender for the sake of some patchwork on the gold leaf.
"Serapherial, I'd like you to run up the signal flags and let them know that I want to parlay with their leader, or his emissary, or whoever," Duncan
The meeting took place in a pavilion several hundred yards from the castle walls. The site had been carefully chosen so as to provide an excellent view of one of the more spectacular sides of the castle. The seating arrangements were laid out so that the enemy's emissary, a man called Thaselian Quilk, would be facing back towards the wall.
"Your grace," Duncan began, "I want to get right to the heart of the matter. The king has sent me to seize this castle and make it part of his kingdom, and I don't intend to disappoint him. I can certainly understand your desire to retain your independence, but I'm afraid you're up against a superior force against which you cannot possibly prevail. I implore you to see reason and surrender now before there are any casualties."
Thaselian smiled condescendingly at him. "Dear boy, no one has ever conquered us, and I don't expect that you will have any better luck. I'd start preparing a pretty speech for your king begging his forgiveness for your failure."
"I was afraid you'd say something like that," Duncan said. He turned to Serapherial. "Serapherial, I want you to be brutally honest. Would you say that I'm an ignorant, brutish foreigner with no real understanding of the ways of civilized people?"
Serapherial's face drained of color. "I…uh…," he stammered.
"No, really, it's okay – be honest," Duncan said.
"Well, I certainly wouldn’t put it in those terms," Serapherial hedged.
"Would you tell our guest here what I proposed we do to capture his castle?" Duncan asked.
"You…uh, you suggested we fire some of the catapults at it," Serapherial said, clearly embarrassed on Duncan's behalf. The ambassador's eyes grew very wide, and he seemed to stop breathing for a moment.
"Surely not!" Thaselian cried when he once again had command of his voice.
"Indeed I did," said Duncan. "In fact, tomorrow morning I am going to load up the catapults with some nice big, sharp rocks, and I'm going to obliterate that," Duncan said, and pointed over his shoulder at the heartbreakingly-beautiful mural the ambassador was facing. Both the emissary and his lieutenant looked shocked and outraged.
"Madness!" said Thaselian, "You couldn't!"
"Sir, no! You wouldn't dare!" Serapherial said.
"Serapherial! You are speaking to your commanding officer!" Duncan shouted, and pointed at his incredibly official hat. "If I order you to fire those catapults, and you refuse, that's treason! You will have betrayed your king! Would you betray your king? Over something pretty?!" Actual tears welled up in Serapherial's eyes. Duncan nearly apologized to the man, but caught himself just in time. Still, this was harder than he thought it would be. It was like kicking a puppy in front of a crowd of children.
"No…though it would break my heart, I would obey," said Serapherial, his voice catching in his throat.
Duncan turned back to the ambassador, who was looking at him as if he had not just kicked the puppy, but had bitten its head off and was now asking for a kitten for dessert.
"Sir," Duncan said calmly, "I'm sure that you're a reasonable man. I, on the other hand, am an unreasonable man who cares only about results. You have two choices. You can surrender peacefully and submit to the king's rule, or you can you can spend tomorrow sifting through rubble trying to find the other two thousand pieces of that wall." Duncan once again pointed over his shoulder. The ambassador's eyes flitted back and forth between the wall and Duncan. Serapherial turned away and sobbed. Duncan raised an inquiring eyebrow, and the ambassador actually jumped out of his chair and ran out of the tent, screaming.
"Hmm," said Duncan. "I wasn't expecting that. Maybe I overdid it."
Serapherial's eyes filled with hope. "You mean you were bluffing?" he said.
"No," Duncan sighed. "I'm sorry to say that I meant every word."
A few hours later, the castle offered a formal surrender. Even though it was the outcome that Duncan had expected, it was still a little hard to believe. He'd never bullied a castle into submission before. It was nice to have achieved an objective without bloodshed, but it was not without other costs. He feared that Serapherial would never look at him the same way again.
"Well, lieutenant," Duncan said, "what's our next target?"
Serapherial hesitated. "There's a small kingdom. It should take us about two weeks to get there since we have to take a take a somewhat roundabout route to go around the…uh…" he trailed off into uncomfortable silence.
"Yes?" Duncan prompted.
"There's a field of wildflowers. With butterflies," Serapherial said.
Duncan found that he was not surprised by this answer. "How much time could we save if we marched through it instead?" Duncan asked. Serapherial cringed.
"Eight days," he said in a small voice.
Duncan could see the man's eyes starting to glisten again. He sighed.
"Well, we saved a few years here. I suppose we can spare the extra eight days," Duncan said. Serapherial's look of relief was almost more painful to see than the tears.
It might be a country full of madmen, but sometimes he envied them for their relative innocence. They weren't perfect, of course. They were, after all, trying to conquer their neighbors. But they tried to do it in such a polite way, with as little actual violence as possible.
Duncan had managed to capture a work of art without breaking it, but could he win a whole war for these people without damaging their spirit? He would certainly try.
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Editor Notes
Date: 2008-10-30 09:48 pm (UTC)The only thing I really saw that I would suggest is to watch the passive voice. A good rule of thumb is to avoid the use of 'was' or any variation thereof.
However, you did a brilliant job of creating a very visual story. Your use of phrases is fantastic. I really love "Duncan could see the man's eyes starting to glisten again. He sighed." I could just see the scene you created.
Very well done this week.
Re: Editor Notes
Date: 2008-10-31 09:53 am (UTC)