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Feb. 26th, 2003 03:52 amThe last couple of days have sucked. The most emotionally draining aspect of it has definitely been the people trying to be helpful about my job search. I know that they mean well, but it's so frustrating. One job is a tech writer position that requires about five more years of experience than I currently possess, to say nothing of the long list of other requirements that I don't meet. The other is a data entry position, which is sort of the other end of the scale. I don't want a temp position that doesn't require specialized knowledge either. I either want a job that actually uses my professional skills, or I want to keep my free time to work on my art, writing, and game design in the hopes of persuing a creative career. It really feels like if I'm ever going to try any of those three it may as well be now. I'm not desperate for money, the job market sucks anyway, and I've come to question whether I'd really be happy back in a corporate job anyway. I used to like it because it felt secure - but that was an illusion that has been shattered too many times. Plus, I was genuinely happy at my last job. It was the first full-time, non-contract job at which I felt like I had actually made friends among my coworkers. I enjoyed my day-to-day activities. It wasn't that bad a drive to get there. Then, all of a sudden (to me, anyway - I was too naive to see the signs, apparently), it was gone. Why go through all of the anguish to get another job like it that will probably disappear in the same way as the others?
On a completely different subject, the gaming group really seems to be on the rocks. Also, yet another of my emails to the list was misinterpreted, which always hurts. I don't know why people seem to be taking my suggestions, comments, and questions as commands and decrees from on high all of a sudden. Am I really communicating that badly? Anyway, we seem to be pulling in two different directions, and many of us think that the group is too big. This is why I was happier when not everyone was in every game - I think that it was a mistake to have everyone show up to every session. Now there will be hard feelings if people are kicked out, or the group will just split apart and we won't all game together anyway.
Best of all, I'm scheduled to run my game this upcoming Thursday. I have this unshakable feeling of doom about that. I figure that either something will go wrong that's directly related to my game, or we'll just eat up the whole session with the conversation/debate/argument that tears apart the group and we won't even play. I guess we'll see.
On a completely different subject, the gaming group really seems to be on the rocks. Also, yet another of my emails to the list was misinterpreted, which always hurts. I don't know why people seem to be taking my suggestions, comments, and questions as commands and decrees from on high all of a sudden. Am I really communicating that badly? Anyway, we seem to be pulling in two different directions, and many of us think that the group is too big. This is why I was happier when not everyone was in every game - I think that it was a mistake to have everyone show up to every session. Now there will be hard feelings if people are kicked out, or the group will just split apart and we won't all game together anyway.
Best of all, I'm scheduled to run my game this upcoming Thursday. I have this unshakable feeling of doom about that. I figure that either something will go wrong that's directly related to my game, or we'll just eat up the whole session with the conversation/debate/argument that tears apart the group and we won't even play. I guess we'll see.
