The past unearthed. The evil revealed.

In the course of my cleaning rampage I have unearthed all kinds of strange and half-forgotten things. Among them, I found a copy of my "alternate" senior picture from high school. If I remember correctly, they mentioned that you could come with a change of clothes and get a few shots of yourself in some other outfit. I still can't believe that I did this. I was, of course, forbidden by my parents to use this as my actual picture in the yearbook, but I did get a bunch of wallet-size copies to hand out to friends. The picture was met with equal parts disbelief and enthusiasm.

( Me as I appeared in 1993 )

Shun the pink - choose Horned Lizard Day.

February 14th is only days away. Start preparing now, because it's one of the most important holidays of the year - Horned Lizard Day.

For those of us who find Valentine's Day an appallingly saccharine and pointless holiday based entirely on superficial expressions of fraudulent love, Horned Lizard Day provides an opportunity to disorient our friends and loved ones with cheerful comments about interesting reptiles. Are you tired of Valentine's Day's hopelessly tooth-rotting sentimentality? Sick of supporting the flower and candy industries with hollow gestures of false affection? Does the color pink send you into fits of psychotic rage? Then celebrate something worth celebrating - celebrate Horned Lizard Day!

I firmly believe that there is no better way to celebrate the 14th of February than with an animal that squirts blood from a sinus behind its eyes when threatened.