Paradoxical Presentry

Christmas was rather disappointing and depressing right up until I peeled aside some wrapping paper to discover that I suddenly owned "Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid," a book I didn't even know existed. The back cover states that "Life is a turbulent journey, fraught with confusion, heartbreak, and inconvenience. This book will not help."

This cheered me up immensely.