hwango

This is my entry for the writing activity on the

brigits_flame community. The prompt for this week was "Angels."

Note for people who don't know me well: No, I'm not religious. If you are, please keep in mind that this is all in fun, and I'm not stomping all over your faith.

Sam’s evening had been a bit of an emotional roller coaster. That is to say, there had been a long wait before the excitement began, he felt exhilarated and disoriented, and he wondered what the end of the ride would be like – would he get to go again, or would he get thrown out of his seat partway through and plunge to a horrible doom? Sam frowned as he considered that perhaps he’d gotten a bit carried away with that metaphor. But still, it had been a complicated night.

First there had been the anxiety. Would she show up? Would she be as pretty as his friend claimed? Would he accidentally knock over a waiter carrying some kind of flaming dessert and burn down the restaurant?

But she had arrived right on time, and she was gorgeous, and so far he had managed to avoid setting anything on fire. Dinner was delicious, the conversation was interesting, everything seemed to be going amazingly well, and Sam was overjoyed.

Soon, however, Sam's happiness began to drown in a tide of suspicious dread. Abigail was an incredible woman. She was beautiful, funny, smart, successful, but nevertheless single and on a blind date with Sam. It just didn’t seem to fit.

His first thought was that it might be some sort of hideous practical joke. He surreptitiously looked around for hidden cameras or people watching them. But no, his friend Anthony wouldn’t do that to him. Though Anthony did work at the restaurant – that’s how Sam had gotten the reservation for tonight. Anthony would be able to set up some kind of hidden camera thing. No, it really was a ridiculous thought. It would be cruel. Plus, Sam would kill him.

Then he wondered if maybe there was something wrong with Abigail that he just wasn’t seeing – something he wouldn’t learn about on a first date. Immediately he felt ashamed for thinking it was something wrong with her. She was amazing. Obviously she just hadn’t dated anyone who met her standards. Was Sam going to meet her standards? For that matter, why was she on a blind date in the first place? Oh, god, please don’t let anyone walk by carrying anything that’s on fire.

"Look, this is going to sound terrible, but I have to ask,” Sam heard someone say, and to his horror realized that he was the one who was speaking. “What the heck are you doing on a blind date? I mean…" he gestured vaguely at her, "I mean, wow."

To his relief, she smiled rather than take offense.

"The silly truth is that I have trouble meeting people. Work keeps me pretty busy, and I don’t go out much. And a lot of the guys I have met seem put off by all my weird quirks.”

Oh, no, Sam thought. She’s some kind of nutcase or something. He tried to maintain his smile, and out loud he asked “What do you mean?”

Abigail frowned. “I have these weird little rules for myself that sort of, you know, feel right? I can’t really explain it.”

Sam was going to ask for an example, when suddenly a golden radiance flooded the room. Ethereal music filled the air, and a host of angels appeared floating in the air around their table. Everyone in the restaurant stared in rapture. No one screamed or ran. There was nothing to fear. The sense of being in the presence of the divine left them feeling nothing but wonder and serenity.

"Abigail Karsten," a voice from all around them spoke, "you and you alone have lived your life according to the ineffable will of God the Almighty. Rejoice as you ascend unto Heaven as the first earthly being to join with God and the divine host in grace and joy for all time."

Then the light flowing around them became brighter, and Sam looked away. When the light faded, he looked back to see that Abigail was gone.

He stared in mute astonishment. Around the restaurant, people sat in stunned silence or wept quietly. After a moment, Anthony approached the table.

"Sam…are you okay, man?"

"I can't believe it."

"I know."

"I actually was on a date with the perfect woman," Sam said. “Even God thought so.”

---

I wanted very badly to make sure my entry for "Angels" was really off the wall. This was about as far off the wall as I could manage. And yes, it's ridiculous, but it was the only one of the ideas I came up with that was going to be fun to write, and that's what counts.

And no, there is no such thing as a "perfect woman," nor would I claim that any features I attributed to Abigail make her closer to being perfect. It's all just goofy fun.