hwango

Author's note: By popular demand (i.e., about three or four people), this story also features a certain take on last week's prompt, "blue barn."

“Well, it certainly is unusual weather,” Joshua said in an attempt to break the uncomfortable silence. The magnitude of this understatement was too great for Andy’s raw nerves, and he leapt to his feet and began rapidly pacing back and forth across the room.

“Which bit do you find unusual?” Andy asked, his voice cracking under the strain. “The thunderless green lightning? The scalding rain? Or just the way the storm appeared out of nowhere?”

“You forgot the triangular hailstones,” said Maddie from her rocking chair across the room. She was knitting something, which seemed to Andy a wildly inappropriate thing to be doing while the world seemed to be ending outside. He favored her with a baleful glare. Her unflappable calm about the whole situation was even more infuriating than Joshua’s nervous denial. If she’d just do the decent thing and panic a little maybe he could pull himself together and be the strong, reliable one for once.

“Oh, yes! Let’s not forget those! Except, how do we know they’re really hail? Because the damned boiling rain doesn’t seem to be melting them with any speed.”

Maddie shrugged. “What else could they be?”

Damn that woman.

All three of them had been working outside when the storm suddenly exploded from a clear sky and pelted them with the weirdly hot rain and curiously pointy hailstones. Joshua had quickly seen to the livestock, Maddie had put the tractor in the barn, and Andy had slipped in some mud and generally made a fool of himself. Then they had all retreated into the house where they were left with nothing to do but wait out the bizarre storm. Joshua was glued to the window, too fascinated to turn away no matter how terrifying things might be. Maddie reasoned that she may as well spend the time on something practical that could be easily set aside if further emergencies presented themselves. Andy was busying himself furiously trying to think of some way to redeem himself in the eyes of his siblings and, more importantly, in his own.

“When did the Thompsons get a new barn?” Joshua asked. Andy pounced on this latest absurdity with a certain manic glee.

“What on earth are you talking about? The Thompsons don’t have a new barn! Don’t you think we’d have noticed a thing like that?”

Joshua pointed. Andy peered out into the gloom and was forced to admit that there did appear to be an extra barn on the Thompson property. At least, it was barn-shaped and looked to be made of wood. On the other hand, it was electric blue. As Andy watched, the doors burst open and disgorged a mass of writhing orange tentacles which quickly ensnared a panicked cow and dragged it inside. The doors snapped shut again with a very authentic sound of wood banging against wood. Then the whole building turned a few degrees to one side and began to inch forward ever so slowly, as if trying not to get caught doing so.

Andy was so stunned by this development that he failed to react even when Joshua remarked “that can’t be good.”

Something tapped politely on the front door of the house and then almost immediately kicked it open. In the open doorway stood a man wearing a plain gray suit, carrying an umbrella in one had and a large briefcase in the other. He stepped inside, carefully placed the briefcase on the floor, closed and shook the umbrella outside, shut the door behind him, and then ducked to avoid the shotgun blast from Maddie, who had set aside her knitting and picked up the gun with remarkable speed.

“Good afternoon!” the man said, nodding to each of them. Joshua waved, Maddie began reloading, and Andy gaped in open-mouthed astonishment. “Madam, I’d advise you so save your ammunition. Please pardon my rude entrance into your home, and allow me to introduce myself. I’m from the Agency.”

After a moment, it became apparent that was to be the sum of the introduction.

“What agency?” Maddie asked, not lowering her weapon. “And what’s your name?”

“Ha, ha,” the man said. “You may call me Perkins. Now, I’m afraid that I have some bad news. An alien intelligence has opened a tunnel through space and time between their world and yours in the general vicinity of your farm. The storm is a mixture of atmospheric and temporal disturbances as well as environmental elements of their world bleeding through from their side to ours. Incidentally, don’t drink the rainwater or try to cool a beverage with the hail. In fact, try not to touch either of them. And of course don’t get struck by the lightning, but that should go without saying.”

Perkins paused, presumably to allow them to ask questions or for Maddie to shoot at him again.

“Now, I’m afraid the outsiders have sent across a rather large monster masquerading as a barn. The camouflage isn’t perfect, though – if you look very closely, you can see that the wood grain of each plank used in its construction is identical.”

“It’s also bright blue,” added Joshua.

“Yes, there’s that as well I suppose,” Perkins admitted. “It also moves on its own and is carnivorous, which are both also a bit of a giveaway. Now, I’m afraid it has already eaten your neighbors and a good chunk of their livestock.”

“Eaten?! The Thompsons?!” Andy said, horrified.

“I’m afraid so,” replied Perkins. “I hope they didn’t owe you money…and that you weren’t fond of them. Now, I’m afraid it also managed to get the drop on my partner, so I’m going to need one of you to come with me to go kill the thing, and then possibly assist in closing the hole in the weave of space and time before there are any further incursions. Not to worry, though,” he said as the crouched down to open the briefcase, “I have an emergency backup umbrella you can use.”

Indeed, slipped into sort of holster in the inside cover of the briefcase there was a short umbrella. The rest of the case was filled with dynamite. Perkins removed the umbrella and then snapped the case shut again. He stood and offered the umbrella to Andy handle-first.

“You, sir, look like a man of action who will be responsive to leadership in a crisis,” he said. Andy took the umbrella without really thinking about it.

“You’re not seriously going with this man, are you Andrew?” Maddie asked, incredulous. Andy shrugged helplessly.

“Good day to you sir, madam,” Perkins said, tipping his hat to Joshua and Maddie in turn. He opened the front door and unfurled his umbrella. “Come along then,” he said to Andy.

Andy looked back at his brother and sister. Joshua waved. Maddie shook her head and told him not to go. He shrugged again. “You two mind the house, now,” he said. “I’ll go deal with…this,” he finished lamely.

Well, he’d wanted to be able to do something about the situation. This, however, wasn’t quite what he’d had in mind. He sighed, opened his umbrella, and stepped out into the alien rain.