LJIdol 3 Strikes - Week 15 - That word about using profanity that I don't want to reproduce here.

[hwango]

Well, surprise, this week you get nonfiction.

I don't like profanity. I don't use a lot of it in real life, to the extent that you are far more likely to hear me say "dang it" or "heck" than even their only mildly more objectionable counterparts, which are themselves the only expletives that I use with any frequency at all. In truth, my speech patterns are so deliberately idiosyncratic that using any of those words is less common than me saying something like "regrettable!" or "unfortunate!" or even "everything is ruined forever!" in their place. In moments of extreme duress I might utter one particular word not allowed on network TV, but I'm usually annoyed with myself for doing so afterwards. The vast majority of objectionable words are words that I simply never use.

In early childhood, most of the swearing I heard in person was from people who were angry and shouting and not really thinking about what they were saying. Certain people I looked up to clearly didn't approve of that sort of thing, and it wasn't hard to decide which of these people I wanted to emulate. I remember other kids would swear when adults weren't around because I guess they enjoyed doing something that was forbidden. I recall trying it, probably at least partially in an attempt to fit in, back when I was still trying to do that. However, doing things only because they were forbidden didn't turn out to appeal to me, particularly when I didn't like the forbidden thing in the first place.

As I got older, I observed that some people used profanity rarely and only for extreme emphasis, and because they used it so rarely, the emphasis was effective. On the other hand, there were people who swore so many times in a single sentence that being vulgar was just their baseline, and it became essentially meaningless. This further reinforced my decision to avoid using profanity whenever possible. If things were ever bad enough for me to use some really objectionable words, people would know that things were dire indeed.

I prefer it if my books and media don't contain a lot of foul language. Partly this is because of my overall negative feelings towards profanity, but it's also because it often feels lazy. There are so many interesting words characters could be using instead! It's actively boring if they just keep saying the same thing over and over. Yes, I've made plenty of exceptions, but many of them were grudgingly made, and I have absolutely bailed out of books, movies, and even songs because I was just tired of the quantity or intensity of the swearing in them.

I tried to write a piece of humorous fiction based on this prompt, and I hated it. There wasn't any actual profanity in it, of course, but making light of something that really bothers me still felt like an unpleasant compromise. At one point, struggling for new inspiration, I did another search on the term to see if there was some other interpretation I could take for the prompt. That's when I stumbled across the literal translation for the word, and I decided that no, it might seem like a silly hill to die on, but that story is going in the garbage, and this week it's either post nothing or write this diatribe few people will probably relate to, and which required me to speak at length about something I don't like.

So, bleh. Perhaps this is at least a slightly interesting window into why you don't see a lot of cursing in my stories. Sure, it's great that it means they can be read by a wider audience, but that's just a side benefit. The main reason is that I just don't like profanity.

Comments

[banana_galaxy]

I used to swear a lot when I was in my teens/very early twenties. Then I had a kid and significantly reduced my profanity. It actually went to the extent of me teaching my kids about the words they shouldn't use to keep them polite, and they feel really uncomfortable when they hear such words. I was actually concerned about how they reacted when hearing the words, so I tried to tone down my attitude and be like, "Look, it's okay if you hear those words in the things you watch, I just want to make sure that you know it's not acceptable to say such things yourself in most situations." That was better than having them feel like they had to hide from me what they were watching on YouTube.

I decided to interpret the definition more broadly, with "vulgar" not necessarily referring to profanities. I do think the fact I don't use that kind of language often has impacted the kind of person I am.

[hwango]

I can imagine that must be challenging as a parent - "you're going to hear these words sometimes, but don't say them yourself" seems like a message bound to raise a lot of questions.

I know we're allowed as much latitude as voters will let us get away with, but I couldn't think of any way to stretch this one into something I wanted to write about. Good for you for pushing the boundaries. = )

[banana_galaxy]

My kids have surprisingly been okay with it. I think it's because I take the time to explain the nuance and why.

I figure it's always best to write what most comes to mind with the prompt rather than try to shoehorn it into something else. And it sounds like that's what it would've felt like for you if you'd tried to write something other than this. Thank you for your authenticity.

[bleodswean]

I relate to this. And went through a similar push/pull while contemplating the prompt. I appreciate reading your thoughts.

[hwango]

Well, glad to hear this was more relatable that I expected! It's far more common for me to run into people who don't understand how I can be bothered enough by it to dislike a movie/book/etc. Thank you for reading my ramblings.

[roina_arwen]

I could have written this myself, for the most part. My dad very rarely used any sort of foul language, and while I do use a few mild euphemisms now and then, things have to be dire indeed for me to drop an “F bomb,” so to speak. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

[hwango]

Let me guess - the thing where we diverge is that you don't say "regrettable!" when you knock something over? = ) But seriously, nice to know I'm not as alone on this issue as I thought.

[adoptedwriter]

I respect your honesty here.

[hwango]

Thank you, I appreciate that.

[drippedonpaper]

I hate profanity overall. Like you said, it just seems so lazy.

If my week had been better, I probably would have wrote about when I taught at an alterative school. I needed a job so badly, I took the job. Many of the students had been in jail. It seemed like every other word was an f-bomb. Honestly, I got to where I almost didn't hear it anymore, it was so common.

But, overall, I feel very much as you do. Now that I don't teach there anymore, I am very happy to live a life hearing less profanity. I don't mind when people use it sometimes, but I rarely use it myself. This week did bring it out a bit.

I enjoyed hearing your thoughts, a window to you :) I enjoy your stories so much, sometimes it's nice to "see behind the curtain" :)

[hwango]

Thanks, it's actually been really great to see how many people feel similarly.

However, pay no attention to that octopus behind the curtain! I assure you, the brain in a jar you're been interacting with this whole time is absolutely the real me. = )

[marlawentmad]

Your mind works in such interesting ways! I am definitely in the minority here, it seems. I grew up with very little swearing and found it a really healing exercise to reclaim all sorts of language. I've read studies done in which they found out that swearing might even increase a person's pain tolerance. As a chronic pain sufferer, it intrigued me a great deal.

[hwango]

Well, by all means, swear like a sailor if it makes you feel better. I won't be able to hear you through the internet, so it won't bother me in the least. = )

[ofearthandstars]

I didn't find the literal translation of the word until the last moments, and while I could certainly envision you doing something humorous and clever with that as a quasi-horror fic, I respect your decision not to! You always have good creative ways of describing people and situations without profanity - I don't know if I'd ever pinned you as someone who doesn't like it without this entry, but it makes perfect sense now!

[hwango]

Agh, that mental image! My brain! MY PRECIOUS, PRECIOUS BRAIN!

[erulissedances]

You have every right to not embrace profanity. You expressed your position very well.

- Erulisse (one L)

[hwango]

Thank you, I appreciate that.

[mollywheezy]

Good for you!!! I applaud your taking a minority stance to be true to yourself. I have often done that, too, but not with bad language which I use way too often, but never in front of anyone other than my husband. I agree it's lazy. When I am cussing, it's because I am so angry my brain has broken and I am beyond good vocabulary. My husband borrows cuss words from fictional works. D'Arvit and Frell are more often heard from him. ;)

[hwango]

Thanks! It's been really interesting to see how many people here feel similarly, actually, which has been nice. Hah, I do like your husband borrowing fictional cuss words. For some reason, that also makes me think of the X Files episode Jose Chung's From Outer Space, in which a character keeps saying the actual word "bleep," since the scenes are events being recounted by Scully and she doesn't want to repeat what he really said. I always thought that was hilarious, and was tempted to do it for real. I 've done it from time to time to be silly, but it didn't really stick enough to be automatic.

[mollywheezy]

I loved that episode, too! :)

[hwango]

Definitely a favorite. In particularly, I love that the mysterious men in black were Alex Trebek and Jesse Ventura. It's just that extra level of "Whaaaat?!" on top of all of the other crazy.

It's fun when a largely serious show can have an episode that is just hilarious because it's so against expectations.

[dadi]

I am on the other side... swearing and cursing have always helped me to let off steam. I can control where and when I do it, more often than not I am on my own, but the colourful insults and curses I have accumulated over the years really feel like bubbly water washing out my anger :) I think it is a character thing, some people don't need this kind of vent, others do!
That said, I absolutely don't like to hear or read gratuitous bad language, repetitive cuss words and swearing just for the sake of causing offense to others!

[hwango]

Well, if you're using it in moments of genuine distress to alleviate negative emotions, that's much less objectionable. Mostly I'm annoyed when it's just drifted into everyday speech.

You're right people need different kinds of vent! I of course vent my anger into schemes to blow up the moon, or reverse the earth's magnetic field, or similar nefarious plans. = )