LJIdol 3 Strikes - Week 10 - Craic
Jun. 14th, 2022 03:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hwangoIt was nearly time, and Emery was nearly ready. He had deduced the proper omens, and they were properly ominous. He had calculated the most auspicious date, and that was just a few days away. He had assembled the necessary artifacts...
Well, his predecessor had assembled most of those, truth be told, but then his predecessor had been careless handling one of them, and now all that was left of him was a small memorial. But anyway, it was nearly time and everything was nearly perfect.
"I have some ideas for this Friday," said Violetta.
Emery silently counted to five before saying anything in response to this.
"Ideas?" he said. "For...this Friday."
"Yeah," said Violetta, "I was thinking we should get some balloons. Like, not just regular balloons, but those cool mylar ones in all the funny shapes, like sharks and birthday cakes and shooting stars and stuff."
"Balloons," said Emery. "For...'Friday,' as you put it."
"I just think it would be fun!" said Violetta.
Emery silently counted to five again, and then to ten when five seemed insufficient.
"Just to make sure there's no misunderstanding here, by 'Friday' you mean the sacred ritual to summon Ullüskesla the All-Devourer?"
"Well, yeah, it's not like I planned anything else for that evening. That would have been stupid," said Violetta.
Emery did not remember his predecessor having problems like this when he led the cult, but then he had been a very different sort of person. He had been the sort of person one imagines when they imagine the leader of a cult - someone charismatic who could whip his followers into a frenzy so they would blindly follow him without question. A people person. Emery was really more of a numbers kind of person, and had quite enjoyed all of the complicated math figuring out the proper date for the ritual.
Now Emery was in charge because everyone had seen him standing next to their leader a lot of the time, including the moment of his abrupt and alarming passing, and just sort of assumed that he was next in line. Also, Emery had his own set of keys to the temple, so he seemed like he must be important. But Emery knew that he was really only in charge because the whole reason you join a cult in the first place is to blindly follow, and no one else wanted to be stuck making decisions. Except, it seemed, the Chosen One, who had decided that they needed balloons.
"You realize that the ritual does not call for balloons," said Emery.
"But it doesn't prohibit them, right?" countered Violetta.
"I do not believe that mylar balloons existed in the forgotten past when this ritual was carved onto tablets of black rock, so no. They are not explicitly prohibited. But I'm not sure they would assist in setting the proper tone."
"I don't see why finally raising our long-dead god shouldn't be a happy occasion," said Violetta.
"I mean...yes? But..."
"Cool - I also think we should invite Anje," said Violetta.
"Anje?!" Emery cried with obvious distress. He really should have counted to fifteen.
"She's super fun!" said Violetta.
"We exiled Anje!"
"Yeah, but maybe it's time to let the past go, you know?"
"The whole point here is to re-awaken the past!" Emery said, feeling that this at least was an inarguable point.
"Then let's re-awaken the part of the past before we banished Anje. She was just really great to have around, and she always told those hilarious stories. Like that one about the time she had pizza delivered to the temple and the guy who answered the door got into this huge argument with the delivery driver because he insisted no one at the temple could possibly have ordered delivery to be sent there and then looked like a complete idiot when she came to the door to get it?"
"What was me!" said Emery.
"No, it was definitely Anje."
"No, I mean I was the one who answered the door!"
"Oh. Well, the way she told it was hilarious. Hey, we should order pizza!"
"No!" said Emery. Then he realized that she didn't mean right then, she meant for Friday. "NO!" he objected more vehemently.
"And we should get a cake - like, one of those giant sheet cakes so we could have them write 'Welcome Back Ullüskesla the All-Devourer! We missed you!' on it in frosting. Or maybe just a blank one and then I'll write that."
"Yes, since those not of the faith could have their very minds annihilated if they write the name of our dread god in frosting on a cake!"
"Oh, I just figured they'd probably spell it wrong," said Violetta.
This was a valid point, actually. Even long-time devotees sometimes forgot the umlaut.
"I just..." Emery tried to get his thoughts back in order, "I just don't think any of this is appropriate."
Violetta just stared at him for a moment. Then she said "You don't think we should have food at the party -"
"Ritual!" corrected Emery.
"Fine, 'ritual' - dedicated to summoning the 'All-Devourer?'" Violetta asked in a tone that suggested that he looked like an idiot again.
In the end, there were balloons. There was cake and pizza and ice cream and a chocolate fountain. There were silly hats. Violetta sang a karaoke duet with Anje. Everyone was laughing and smiling and having the most wonderful time, right up until Ullüskesla burst out of the cake and devoured the temple and everyone in it.
Emery observed all this from across the street, having retired from his position in protest and abandoned the cult as a whole from a sense of self-preservation not normally found in cultists. He was horrified by how things turned out, but also felt proud that he had calculated the date correctly, and vindicated that Ullüskesla certainly seemed upset about something, which he assumed was the frivolity attached to this sacred ritual.
Actually, it was just that Violetta had misspelled Ullüskesla on the cake after all.
Well, his predecessor had assembled most of those, truth be told, but then his predecessor had been careless handling one of them, and now all that was left of him was a small memorial. But anyway, it was nearly time and everything was nearly perfect.
"I have some ideas for this Friday," said Violetta.
Emery silently counted to five before saying anything in response to this.
"Ideas?" he said. "For...this Friday."
"Yeah," said Violetta, "I was thinking we should get some balloons. Like, not just regular balloons, but those cool mylar ones in all the funny shapes, like sharks and birthday cakes and shooting stars and stuff."
"Balloons," said Emery. "For...'Friday,' as you put it."
"I just think it would be fun!" said Violetta.
Emery silently counted to five again, and then to ten when five seemed insufficient.
"Just to make sure there's no misunderstanding here, by 'Friday' you mean the sacred ritual to summon Ullüskesla the All-Devourer?"
"Well, yeah, it's not like I planned anything else for that evening. That would have been stupid," said Violetta.
Emery did not remember his predecessor having problems like this when he led the cult, but then he had been a very different sort of person. He had been the sort of person one imagines when they imagine the leader of a cult - someone charismatic who could whip his followers into a frenzy so they would blindly follow him without question. A people person. Emery was really more of a numbers kind of person, and had quite enjoyed all of the complicated math figuring out the proper date for the ritual.
Now Emery was in charge because everyone had seen him standing next to their leader a lot of the time, including the moment of his abrupt and alarming passing, and just sort of assumed that he was next in line. Also, Emery had his own set of keys to the temple, so he seemed like he must be important. But Emery knew that he was really only in charge because the whole reason you join a cult in the first place is to blindly follow, and no one else wanted to be stuck making decisions. Except, it seemed, the Chosen One, who had decided that they needed balloons.
"You realize that the ritual does not call for balloons," said Emery.
"But it doesn't prohibit them, right?" countered Violetta.
"I do not believe that mylar balloons existed in the forgotten past when this ritual was carved onto tablets of black rock, so no. They are not explicitly prohibited. But I'm not sure they would assist in setting the proper tone."
"I don't see why finally raising our long-dead god shouldn't be a happy occasion," said Violetta.
"I mean...yes? But..."
"Cool - I also think we should invite Anje," said Violetta.
"Anje?!" Emery cried with obvious distress. He really should have counted to fifteen.
"She's super fun!" said Violetta.
"We exiled Anje!"
"Yeah, but maybe it's time to let the past go, you know?"
"The whole point here is to re-awaken the past!" Emery said, feeling that this at least was an inarguable point.
"Then let's re-awaken the part of the past before we banished Anje. She was just really great to have around, and she always told those hilarious stories. Like that one about the time she had pizza delivered to the temple and the guy who answered the door got into this huge argument with the delivery driver because he insisted no one at the temple could possibly have ordered delivery to be sent there and then looked like a complete idiot when she came to the door to get it?"
"What was me!" said Emery.
"No, it was definitely Anje."
"No, I mean I was the one who answered the door!"
"Oh. Well, the way she told it was hilarious. Hey, we should order pizza!"
"No!" said Emery. Then he realized that she didn't mean right then, she meant for Friday. "NO!" he objected more vehemently.
"And we should get a cake - like, one of those giant sheet cakes so we could have them write 'Welcome Back Ullüskesla the All-Devourer! We missed you!' on it in frosting. Or maybe just a blank one and then I'll write that."
"Yes, since those not of the faith could have their very minds annihilated if they write the name of our dread god in frosting on a cake!"
"Oh, I just figured they'd probably spell it wrong," said Violetta.
This was a valid point, actually. Even long-time devotees sometimes forgot the umlaut.
"I just..." Emery tried to get his thoughts back in order, "I just don't think any of this is appropriate."
Violetta just stared at him for a moment. Then she said "You don't think we should have food at the party -"
"Ritual!" corrected Emery.
"Fine, 'ritual' - dedicated to summoning the 'All-Devourer?'" Violetta asked in a tone that suggested that he looked like an idiot again.
In the end, there were balloons. There was cake and pizza and ice cream and a chocolate fountain. There were silly hats. Violetta sang a karaoke duet with Anje. Everyone was laughing and smiling and having the most wonderful time, right up until Ullüskesla burst out of the cake and devoured the temple and everyone in it.
Emery observed all this from across the street, having retired from his position in protest and abandoned the cult as a whole from a sense of self-preservation not normally found in cultists. He was horrified by how things turned out, but also felt proud that he had calculated the date correctly, and vindicated that Ullüskesla certainly seemed upset about something, which he assumed was the frivolity attached to this sacred ritual.
Actually, it was just that Violetta had misspelled Ullüskesla on the cake after all.
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Date: 2022-06-15 02:44 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2022-06-15 11:32 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2022-06-17 01:21 am (UTC)- Erulisse (one L)
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Date: 2022-06-17 03:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-06-18 01:29 am (UTC)- Erulisse (one L)
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Date: 2022-06-17 01:31 am (UTC)The line that is really making me think is this one: "the whole reason you join a cult in the first place is to blindly follow, and no one else wanted to be stuck making decisions." Somehow, I had not thought of it quite that way, but it kind of makes sense. Basically, joining a cult is the ultimate way of "not taking responsibility." "I was only following orders"...hmm.
Thanks for making me think!
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Date: 2022-06-17 03:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-06-18 02:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-06-19 04:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-06-18 11:40 pm (UTC)This right here says it all for me. A man who's desperately trying to retain his cool while surrounded by idiots. Perfect.
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Date: 2022-06-19 04:36 am (UTC)But if I can awaken and old god _and_ have ice cream, I think that would be an acceptable compromise.
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Date: 2022-06-19 05:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-06-20 06:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-06-19 10:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-06-20 06:32 am (UTC)I'm picturing Emery so frustrated by dealing with other people that he'll steer clear of cults for the time being. Maybe just find some sort of math-appreciating entity to exalt on his own, though.
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Date: 2022-06-20 12:04 pm (UTC)If Emery wishes to check out the Egyptian pantheon - Seshat is an interesting choice...
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Date: 2022-06-21 02:47 am (UTC)