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Dec. 24th, 2003
I can't sleep. Well, I couldn't sleep. Maybe I could now, but I don't want to perpetuate this crazy situation that I'm in right now. You see, when I was sick for a few days, I spent a lot of extra time sleeping. Then, when I was done getting extra sleep, I was stuck on a new schedule of when I was awake, and have spent the last couple of days going to sleep at about 11 AM. Yes. AM. I'm perilously close to sleeping the vampire schedule.
I spent this morning thinking up crazy new boardgame stuff. I still want to get my other one tested, polished, and completed, but I've got new ideas as well. Ideas with strangely armed penguins taking over crazy restaurants, like Pizza Dominion. I need normal sleep.
I plan to stay in tonight, since it will be a bit less stressful than if I don't. You see, I have an irrational fear of going out on Christmas Eve. This is why I wasn't heartbroken to skip the usual candlelight service at church last year (my only church experience in the whole year, barring a wedding or something). This fear goes all the way back to when a neighbor's house was completely gutted by fire while the whole family was at church for Christmas Eve. Bad enough to lose your home, but it just seems extra horrible to lose it on Christmas Eve, and a cruel joke to have been at church when it happened. Anyway, ever since this I've felt very anxious coming home on Christmas Eve, fearing that the house wouldn't be there waiting for us. It's silly and irrational, but it's something I've never quite overcome.
I spent this morning thinking up crazy new boardgame stuff. I still want to get my other one tested, polished, and completed, but I've got new ideas as well. Ideas with strangely armed penguins taking over crazy restaurants, like Pizza Dominion. I need normal sleep.
I plan to stay in tonight, since it will be a bit less stressful than if I don't. You see, I have an irrational fear of going out on Christmas Eve. This is why I wasn't heartbroken to skip the usual candlelight service at church last year (my only church experience in the whole year, barring a wedding or something). This fear goes all the way back to when a neighbor's house was completely gutted by fire while the whole family was at church for Christmas Eve. Bad enough to lose your home, but it just seems extra horrible to lose it on Christmas Eve, and a cruel joke to have been at church when it happened. Anyway, ever since this I've felt very anxious coming home on Christmas Eve, fearing that the house wouldn't be there waiting for us. It's silly and irrational, but it's something I've never quite overcome.
